School Gone Evil
by Riku's Dark Vampire Girl
Summary: Some of the Kh cast go to Jr. High. Like other people, they're not enjoying it. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

School is friggin evil! And now to our story...

Sora was sleeping peacefully in bed, his alarm clock was ticking its way to seven o' clock, until..."Ha! Ha! Ha! Happy Cat says it's time to get up!" his alarm clock shaped like a cat smiling like a crazy clown yelled. Sora turned over and scratched his leg. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Happy Cat is not kidding, get up!" the alarm clock began to shake before it got wacked by the keyblade. "I know my dad gave me his clock just to annoy me" Sora moaned. He got up and stretched before falling back onto his bed and falling asleep. "Heeeeeyyyy, Sora!" Cloud slammed Sora's door down. "Sleeping here!" Sora turned over to Cloud. "No sleeping today, school today!" Cloud gave him a thumbs up before walking away. Sora layed there in shock before he said something. "WHAT!" Sora's voice rang through the islands.

"Sora?" Riku groaned as he peeked his eyes open. "Brother, time to get up" Yazoo opened Riku's door. "Why?" Riku turned to him. "Time to get ready for school!" Yazoo answered. "Tell me you just stuttered" Riku sat up. "Brother, I never make mistakes" Yazoo stared at him seriously. Riku twitched before letting out one of the longest groans in history (If my breath could be longer, I'd do that too).

"What to wear for the worsest day in history?" Sora looked through his closet of the same outfits (It's like he never changes his clothes!). "Oooh, what's this?" Sora pulled out a different piece of clothing. It was a blue shirt that had a picture of a waffle on it and his necklace crown design with the words 'I'm the waffle king!' below it. "Nice!" he smiled as he pulled out some pants (Probably his only pair).

"Get out of the bed!" Sephiroth tried to pull Riku out of his bed, who was grasping tightly to it. "You can't make me! I'm not gonna go!" Riku yelled. "But Riku, it'll be fun!" Yazoo tried to pursade him into going. Riku let go and turned to Yazoo. "Now I know there's something wrong with you" Riku squinted at him. "Gotcha!" Sephiroth squeezed Riku in his arms, nearly crushing his ribs. Riku began to limp to the side before turning a light blue. "Uh, oh" Sephiroth looked down at his limping son. "Yazoo, can you pick Riku out some clothes" Sephy signaled Yazoo with his head to Riku's closet. "Riiiiight" Yazoo walked over to the closet.

-Several hours of complaining and repairing Riku's ribs- "Hey, Sora" Riku walked over to Sora who was sitting on the dock. "What's up?" Sora turned to him. "I just got my ribs repaired" Riku sat down next to him. "So, what're you waiting for?" Riku asked. "The bus" Sora answered. "What're you _really_ waiting for?" Riku asked. "My dad said the bus was coming here" Sora smiled. "Your dad's an idiot" Riku said. "Yeah, I know" Sora said shamefully. Wakka, Selphie, and Tidus walked over and sat next to them. "This is stupid, ya?" Wakka asked. "Duh! We're waiting for a bus on an island!" Selphie groaned. "This is more stupid than Sora" Tidus groaned. "Hey! I found my comb in my hair!" Sora pulls a comb out of his majorly spikey hair. "That's my comb!" Riku snatched the comb from Sora. "I rest my case" Tidus shook his head. Out of the water came this school bus (Weird, isn't it?) and stopped near the dock. "Ooookay" Riku raised an eyebrow. The door opened to reveal Cid sitting behind the wheel. "This is the weird island, right?" Cid turned to them. "Right" Selphie got up. "Well get in before I leave without ya!" Cid lights a cig. Everybody runs on before Cid closes the door on Riku's water ballon filled pants (How else could they be so big?). "Open the door!" Riku pointed to the door. "I don't really feel like it!" Cid smiled. "This is child abuse!" Riku shook his fists. "Do you think I care?" Cid asked.

Cid got up and faced the kids in the back as Riku pouted up front. "Now just to let you know, I'm your bus driver Cid Highwind, the best friggin pilot that you'll ever meet. Also, I've never driven a car before, so lets hope we all make it to school before I kill ya!" Cid smiled and went back to the wheel. "Wait a seco-" "Too bad!" Cid cut Wakka off. He started the bus and began to back up into the sea. "Sora, what're you doing?" Selphie asked. "Writing my will. Trust me, I've seen this guy try to teach Kadaj how to drive and if he's never driven before, he'll do even more damage!" Sora wrote down his will on a napkin (Refer to A New Life of Randomness for details!). Cid pressed a button on the steering wheel and rocket engines came out of the bus's rear and fired up. "Wait! Don't we have seatbelts?" Tidus paniced. "Why need seat belts? You're healthy, you can keep yourself down!" Cid adjusted the mirrors. "What about me?" Riku shook his fists. "Eh, you'll be fine" Cid put the bus in drive. The bus shot through the water, hitting almost every underwater creature known, even some Screwdivers and Sea Neons. "Man, people don't know how to stay out of street nowadays" Cid complains. "Are you sure this is the way to school, man?" Wakka held tightly onto his seat. "I think so" Cid scratched his head.

"Why couldn't we have taken the Highwind?" Riku tried to stand up after hitting the wall. "Strife drove it right into the mountain" Cid answered. "What about the Sierra?" Sora hit the ground and floor as the road got even bumpier. "Why get the best airship in the world ruined?" Cid laughed. "You're trying to kill us aren't you?" Tidus asked as he hit the back window. "Nah, your parents would kill me, I'm just trying to get you roughened up that's all" Cid smiled. "You're insane!" Riku pointed. "Am not!" Cid let go of the wheel. "Are too! My dad could whoop your butt anyday of the week!" Riku growled. "I'm the one who helped save the planet from his rule!" Cid made a comeback. "Guys! The, wheel!" Selphie hit the walls and ceiling. "My dad was just tired, that's all! I could whip you right here!" Riku smirked. "Oh, really? Hope you can fight as good as you can talk!" Cid took out the Venus Gospel. "Bring it on old man!" Riku took out the Souleater. "Bouncey, bouncey!" Sora smiled as the bus bumped against the road while he was enjoying it (Moron).


	2. Insanity of Boredom

I could use a soda right now...

The bus came from the water onto the shore and opened its door. Cid walked out, looking quite beatened up while Riku grinned and walked out behind him along with the other badly beatened looking kids. "I can't believe, I just got my butt kicked, by a kid" Cid mumbled. "Maybe you should retire old man!" Riku 'pat' him on the back. "I'm not old!" Cid fell to the knees and shook his fists at the sky. "Suuuuure, you're not" Sora looked back at him before tripping over a rock. "Wait! You forgot me!" Kairi's voice called out. "Oh, please tell me it's the voice of someone other than Kairi" Sora shut his eyes. "I've been chasing after the bus forever!" Kairi ran up to him. "Somebody kill me now" Sora mumbled. "That can be arranged" Riku looked back at him and took out the Souleater.

"Hello, brother" Kadaj walked over to Riku. "How'd you get here?" Riku turned to him. "I flew. You should have used your wing if you didn't want to take the bus" Kadaj shrugged. Riku gritted his teeth before pulling on his hair. "Riku, are you alright?" Sora asked. "He just having a little tandrom, that's all" Kadaj patted Riku's head. "Sora, give me the black materia!" Riku looked up at Sora evily. Sora fell to the ground and started to hallucinate like crazy. "We're all almost like our fathers" Kadaj sighed before picking Riku up and carrying him into shcool. "Coming, oh great Riku!" Sora got up and chased after Kadaj.

And so, after Riku was done being evil and Sora was done trying to give Riku a black marble (Which he hit Sora with multiple times), they were looking at their class thingies. "I got room 2D!" Kairi smiled for no reason. "I'm in room 3D. How about you, Sora?" Riku turned to Sora. "Room 3D!" Sora cheered. "Great, I have to watch over an idiot" Riku thought. "Wanna cookie?" Sora handed Riku a cookie. "Then again, he isn't that bad of a best friend" Riku put the cookie in his backpack (Which happens to be black with the Heartless symbol on the back and the words 'I am the prince of darkness' under it). Anyways, they went to their class. They sat down in any seat that was best.

There was an electric chair (Lost of ashes and shoes were found near there), a demon chair (Lots of people had a bad feeling about it), a throne (In which Sora sat in because he thought he was the king because of his crown symbol), a pink chair (Which most people avoided, even some of the girls), a hot seat (Wakka burnt his butt sitting on it), a death chair (With a death clock to match), and the rest of the seats were blue. Some tall guy walked in with a briefcase and behind the front desk. "Welcome to Destiny Jr. High, where all students are sun tanning crazy people who don't know how to act!" he smiled. "Oh, and my name is Ansem!" he wrote his first name on the board and underlined it twice. "Ansem!" Riku shot out of his seat. "Ansem?" Wakka shrugged. "Handsome?" Sora tilted his head to the side. "Ansem!" Ansem crossed his arms. "Weren't you killed?" Riku pointed. "No, sit down!" Ansem pointed. Riku mumbled something about 'I'll kill him later' as he sat down. "Now then, today we're going to talk about, Darkness!" Ansem laughed evily. "Why?" Sora asked. "Because, I do what I want!" Ansem answered. "What happened to math and all that-" Sora was cut off when Riku covered his mouth. "Don't get him started" Riku shook his head.

While Ansem kept talking about multiple things on darkness (Don't you hate it when teachers go on and on about the same thing, but never get down to the point?), all the other students were beginning to get sick of it. "I can't take this anymore!" "When's school over?" "I should be ruler of this pathetic planet! I'll make him my slave!" "Somebody kill me or something!" "How much wood _would_ a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck _could_ chuck wood?" "I wonder if Riku really likes me" "It's bacon!" Yeah, there was alot of thinking in the classroom. Some kid with brown hair made a paper airplane and threw it at Ansem. Ansem turned around sharply at the class. "Who, threw, this?" he held up the airplane. The kid giggled a little and Ansem turned to him. "Submit to darkness!" Ansem pointed at him. The guardian came out of the ground and dragged the kid into some dark portal. "And the same will happen to you if you ever misbehave" Ansem turned back around. Everybody was too scared to breathe as they stared in horror at the pile of ashes left where the kid had sat.

Still in the same classroom, Tidus began to bang his head on the desk, Wakka started to doodle (Drawing himself marrying a dark looking person with a stuffed moogle doll. Take a wild guess), Riku made his seventh fan art for Gravitation, Sora was sleeping with his eyes open, and other kids were starting to make graves of those who died of boredom (It can happen, I was close to). Tidus went completely insane and took out some bubble wrap and began to pop it. Sora ripped a piece of paper from his notebook (That echoed through the whole room) and began to write on it before making it into a triangular shape and handing it to Riku. "Riku, I'm bored! I feel like I'm going to die! I can't take it anymore! Love, Sora" Riku read it in his mind. Riku sighed and wrote a note and passed it to Sora. "Deal with it! What do you think Ansem did when he took over my body? He went over this stuff over and over, I felt I was gonna pass out! -Riku" Sora read in his mind (Or his empty head that echoes everything he tries to think).

Sora wrote another note and passed it to Riku. "How long have we been in here anyways? Tidus is starting to scare me and I'm getting hungry! It's like 12 years have passed! -Sora" Riku sighed and again, wrote another note before passing it to Sora. "Yeah Sora, it's been 12 years. You're really 26 years old, and you're still in school, waiting for class to be over. And as for Tidus, well, there's not much we can do for him. He's in his own little world now" Sora read. He wrote another note and passed it Riku (I promise this will be the last of the note passing!). Riku read it and his face showed a sign of disgust. "Riku, I'm really 26 now? Wow, time sure does fly when you're bored! Then that must mean that you're, lets see...27! So, how're you and the family? My wife keeps naging for me to get a job, but jobs are for suckers! Hey, maybe if you're not busy tomorrow, maybe we can have a little fun, if you know what I'm saying. -Love, Sora" Riku turned to Sora with the same look before throwing his book at him, right on target.


	3. Art Class

Finally, the bell rung. "Lunch time!" Riku grabbed his backpack and grabbed Sora as he ran out. "Cheese!" Sora smiled as he first hit the wall. "How is your teacher?" Kairi walked up to them in the lunch line. "Stupid and crazy" Riku answered. "He keeps going on and on about darkness" Sora shakes his head. "My teacher is really nice, he even gave us sodas once we stepped in the door" Kairi smiled. "Get out of my face!" Sora pointed to the end of the line. "Tee hee, you're so silly" Kairi laughed. "Somebody must've really wanted me to suffer in life" Sora groaned. "It's okay, I gotta suffer with you" Riku patted him on the back. "So, what's for lunch?" Wakka asked. "I think it's peanut butter jelly" Riku answered. "Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat!" Sora sung before continuing on with almost everybody else in the lunch room (That happened in my science class!). "Something's really wrong with this picture" Riku raised an eyebrow as everybody was singing.

-During lunch- "It's a papou burger?" Selphie poked at it. "Sucks for you!" Tidus laughed. "Tidus, you're one to talk. You got a crab sandwitch, and it's still alive" Riku pointed at the crab walking on the table. "Yeah, I know" Tidus said shamefully. "Are you sure they're not trying to kill us?" Sora backed up in his seat as his lobster and cheese snapped at him. "In my opinion, yes" Riku stared at his hot dog which was really a cute puppy sitting on a hot dog bun. "I can't eat it! It's too cute!" Riku picked it up and hugged it. "How's your day going?" Kadaj walked over. "Terrible" Riku slammed his head down on the table. "Good to know" Kadaj smiled. "Help me, Kadaj" Riku grabbed onto Kadaj's shirt. "I'm not going to survive!" Riku looked up at him with puppy eyes along with the puppy on his shoulder. "Ya gotta hang in there" Kadaj smiled. "But they're trying to kill us!" Sora grabbed onto Kadaj's shirt as well. "If you loved me, you would take me home!" Riku cried. Kadaj sweatdropped. "What's that?" Sora pointed to his head. "A sweatdrop" Kadaj handed it to him (Now that's not supposed to happen!). "Cool" Sora put it in his pocket as Kadaj sweatdropped again. Again, Sora picked it off him and this happened for a long time. "This is defying the laws of physics" Tidus twitched. "Everything's defying the laws of physics" Selphie pointed out. "Somebody kill me now!" Riku looked up. Just then, the bell rang and everybody groaned and went back to their schedule (Is that how you spell it? Don't care anyways). Riku was hoping that the next class would be a little better.

"Welcome to art class. I'm your teacher Mr. Valentine" Vincent walked in with a breifcase and wrote his name on the board. "Hi, Mr. Vincent!" Sora stood up from his chair. "Oh, great. I got the idiot" Vincent thought. "Lets get this over with!" he hit his breifcase. "What's _his_ deal?" Tidus mumbled. "My _deal_ is that I'm supposed to be sleeping!" Vincent turned to him. "Now then" he straightend his tie (That's right peeps, he's in his Turk uniform!). "We're going to be making paintings of our most frightening moments" he got some big paper out of his breifcase and passed it out along with some paint. "Heh, my most frightening moment was when I met S-" Riku stopped to see Sora staring at him with puppy dog eyes, about to cry. "S-S-Selphie!" Riku lied. "Hey! That's mean!" Selphie threw a paintbrush at him. "Why am I such a nice guy?" Riku mumbled. He looked over to Sora's painting (He can paint pretty fast!) to see a pretty good painting of him reaching out to Riku as he fell into darkness. "Oh yeah, it's because of this little idiotic friend I got who cares for me" Riku sighed happily (Uh, you should know what I mean!). "Oh yes, my punishment is that you go into that closet over there" Vincent pointed to the door at the waaaaayyyyy back of the room.

After seeing what Ansem could do, nobody even wanted to be in trouble except this one black haired kid. He started to paint on the wall near him like the idiot he is. "You!" Vincent shot out of his chair and pointed his claw arm him. The kid jumped and turned to him. He walked over to the kid and dragged him to the back of the room while saying 'I'm about to commit another sin' before stopping in front of the door. "Then again, you have commited a sin as well!" he said evily before opening the door and throwing the kid in. Screaming and yelling along with some crazy growling noises and something tearing apart came from inside. Everybody just stared in horror. "Maybe Ansem's class was better, ya?" Wakka twitched. "Continue" Vincent said calmly as he walked back to his desk, hands behind his back. "He must have demons in there. Afterall, he is a vampire" Sora whispered to Riku. "Then what's he doing up in the day?" Riku asked. "I dunno, all I know is that he's a vampire" Sora shrugged. "I can hear you" Vincent said from his desk. They both stiffened up and got back to their pantings.

Tidus was painting a picture of when Ansem dragged the kid into darkness, Selphie was painting a picture of when her jump rope was stolen, Wakka was painting a picture of him when he saw Riku was taller than him, and Riku was painting a picture of when he saw Sephiroth take off his shirt and swing it over his head.

Just then, the intercom beeped. "Can I get some chicken with th- Oh, yeah! I should have said this before, but good day students! I am your principal, mayor, and hero of Nibelheim and the world, Cloud Strife! I hope you're enjoying your first day here at Destiny Jr. High! There's only one good thing about this school and it's that it's near your island homes! Some of you people may think I'm annoying, Vinny!" Cloud said somehow knowing Vincent had taken out his gun. "Don't even think about shooting the intercom, Vinny! Just lower the gun" Cloud said as Vincent, annoyed, put his gun on his desk. "Good! So, have a nice day! And thanks for choo-" Cloud was cut off as Vincent shot the intercom several times. "My gosh I should've killed him the first day we met" Vincent shook his head. "Your dad's the principal?" Tidus turned to Sora. "He never told me!" Sora shrugged. "No wonder I should've stayed home today" Riku banged his head on his desk. "The school's being run by an idiot, ya?" Wakka asked. "What can we do?" Tidus shrugged.

Without even knocking, Leon walks in and over to Vincent. "Strife wanted me to give you this" Leon handed him a piece of paper. Vincent read it carefully before..."What!" he slammed it down on his desk. "What does he mean he wants me to pay for Axel's messes? I'm not the one leaving ashes all over the place!" Vincent yelled. "Hey, I don't like workin for mister rain Cloud either, but noooooo!" Leon walked out the door. Vincent grasped hard onto the paper, his anger rising and skin changing to a dark color. "Uh, guys. I think we should get out of here!" Sora got up. "I'm with you" Riku got up and edged for the door. "Wait for us!" the others ran out. After closing the door behind them, demonic noises could be heard along with things ripping and breaking. Sora sighed as he was able to get out. "So, what's our next class?" Sora smiled. Everybody else sweatdropped.


	4. Cooking and Dodgeball

"So, our next class is home ech?" Riku looked at his class order thingie. "Where's that?" Tidus asked. "Room AL" Sora looked over Riku's shoulder. They stopped at a red door with a strange red light coming from the small window thingie. "Are you sure this isn't the door to the underworld?" Selphie asked. "Maybe I can see Cerbey!" Sora smiled. "If it is, let's push Sora down and see if he'll live" Tidus mumbled. Riku touched the door, which he drew back because it was hot. "Yeah, it's the door to the underworld" Riku turned away. The door slowly opened, and green eyes looked down at them. "Hi, students!" Axel popped out and smiled. "Oh, gosh" Sora shook his head.

"I should've known he would teach this class" Riku shook his head. "Hey, at least I make money! Back at the Organization, I only got a penny an hour!" Axel pouted. "I'm sure you did" Selphie sweatdropped. "Okay, before we start making anything, you have to wear these" Axel passed out some black cloaks. "These are Organization uniforms!" Riku held his up. "Hey, unless you want to wear the hot dog costume, then you'll put that on!" Axel pointed. Riku, mumbling, put it on and crossed his arms. "Heehehe. It feels flowly" Sora smiled. "You weren't supposed to take off your clothes, you were supposed to put it over your clothes!" Selphie pointed to Sora's regular clothes folded right next to him. "Oops" Sora looked down. "Nevermind, I do it almost all the time" Axel went back up to the front. The class shuddered. "Okay, we're going to be making tacos!" Axel took out a bunch of taco supplies from under his desk. "Yay!" the class cheered. "Wait, ya? How're we gonna cook them without a stove, ya?" Wakka asked. Axel stared at him weirdly. "We don't use stoves! We're going to use the power of fire!" Axel laughed. "Oh yeah, now I remember, he's the flame guy from Castle Oblivion" Sora put his hand on his forehead. "And you will soon give into darkness, after you make your taco" Axel passed out the supplies.

"Okay, first. Wash your hands" Axel pointed to the sink. Everybody lined up and washed their hands and returned to their tables. "Good! Now then, empty the meat into the pan and line up in front of me" Axel emptied his little meat thingie in front of him. "See, Riku. This might not be the worst class" Sora looked behind to Riku. "Guess not, but I wonder if we can make cake" Riku answered. Axel took out his weapon and set it on his desk. "Wait for it..." he said as Wakka set his pan down on it. "Wait for it and... BAM!" Axel snapped his fingers and a huge flame came from under the pan and went back down. "Woah, ya? I gotta learn how to do that, ya?" Wakka smiled. Axel looked at him weirdly, before it was Tidus's turn. "Next, seperate your lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and shells. After that, you'll want to put your meat in the shell first, then the cheese, then lettuce, then tomatoes" Axel demonstrated. "Cheese" Sora smiled and stuffed some of the cheese in his mouth. "Finally, we add some hot sauce" Axel took out some packets of hot sauce. "Did you have to fire those up too?" Tidus asked. "Yes" Axel smiled as he passed them out. "Riku, I can't get mine opened" Sora struggled to open his pack. Riku took out the Souleater and sliced open the packet. "Yeah, thanks" Sora trembled.

"Now that that's all over, you can eat" Axel smiled. "Yay!" the class cheered. Zexion opened the door and walked in. "Hey, Zexy!" Axel turned to him. "Did I not tell you earlier today not to call me that?" Zexion asked. "I don't care!" Axel smiled. "Yes, well. I've been going class to class, saying that we have a substitute teacher for gym classes since Larxene called in sick. -Elsewhere- "I'm not sick! Axel, Zexion, help m-" Larxene was cut off by a dark figure putting some tape over her mouth and a mysterious laugh. "So, anybody who wants to write a will right now, may do so" Zexion finished and walked out. "What subject do we go to next, Riku?" Sora looked over Riku's shoulder as everybody else climbed over to see what was on Riku's class order. "A little space would be nice!" Riku slammed his fists down. Everybody backed off. Riku looked at his class order thing and gasped. "Gym" Riku's voice echoed through the whole room. "Is this a cave or something?" Axel looked up. The bell rung. "Lets go, ya?" Wakka asked. Tidus finished writing his will and followed the others.

"How do you like my gym clothes?" Sora asked Riku as he put on some blue shorts and white top. "I'm not even gonna answer" Riku answered as he put on his black shorts and yellow top. All of them walked out to the gym and sat, waiting for their doom...er I mean, gym teacher. "So good to meet you class" the teacher walked in. He wore a black jacket, no shirt, and black pants, hair flowing behind him. "AAAHHHH!" Riku screamed and covered his eyes. "Oh come on, it' not like you haven't seen me wear this before!" Sephiroth put his hands on his hips. "Don't make me fight!" Sora began to freak out. -Back in the day- Sora stepped into the Coliseum, hands clutched around the keyblade. Sephiroth zapped out of the sky and faced him. Sora, narrowing his eyes, charged at Sephiroth with all his might. Sephiroth smirked and put his foot out as Sora tripped over it and was knocked out for several hours. "Oh, calm down! All we're going to do is play some dodgeball" Sephiroth took out a dodgeball. "Good" Sora sighed in relief. "But, we're going to play it _my_ way" Sephy smirked. Everybody gulped.

"Duck, Sora!" Riku yelled. "He's gonna kill me!" Tidus fell to the ground. "What type of dodgeball is this, ya?" Wakka jumped. "I told you, it's meteor dodgeball!" Sephiroth formed another meteor orb. "You're trying to kill us!" Sora dodge one. "So?" Sephiroth threw another. Sora, taking out the keyblade, guarded several times, but got hit anyways. Riku, taking the Souleater back out, struck at Sephy, but he kept getting burned with Sephy's fire attack. "We're done for" Wakka fell to the ground. "I can't go on anymore" Selphie crawled on the ground over to her jump rope. "Guys, it's been nice knowing ya" Sora looked over to the others. "Same here" Riku hit the ground. "We've lived a long life" Tidus turned onto his back and closed his eyes. "Riku, I just want you to know," Sora started. "Yeah?" Riku looked over to him. "That Ansem made me take off my clothes" Sora finished. "He what?" Riku growled. "It's the...truth" Sora turned his head to the side. "Sora?" Riku crawled over to him. No answer. "No...NOOOOO!" Riku shook his fists up in the air before passing out. "Kids, they're so dramatic" Sephy rolled his eyes. Sephy walked over to the little button on the wall and pressed it. "Nurses office" the speaker said. "Yeah, I got another group of injured kids coming your way" Sephy answered. "Again! You need to stop trying to kill almost everybody, Sephy!" the nurse screamed. "What did you just call me?" Sephy growled, taking out his Masamune.


	5. Replicas and the Heat Mizer!

"So how are my little patients doing?" Tifa peeked from behind the curtains. Riku's head was wrapped up and he was wearing a neckbrace, Sora had a broken leg and several head injuries, Tidus was still unconcious, Wakka had to have an oxyen tank, and Selphie well, Selphie's just lucky she's alive. "I want my daddy!" Sora cries. "You're lucky your dad's not a murderer!" Riku throws a cup at him. "Did somebody say, 'Cloud Strife is the hottest guy on the planet that doesn't even have a name?" Cloud slides in behind Tifa. "Daddy!" Sora cheers. "And I know this guy?" Riku raises an eyebrow. "How's my little man doing?" Cloud asks Sora. "Horrible! Riku's dad tried to kill us again!" Sora pouts. "Again! Tifa, go get Mr. Sephiroth" Cloud points to the door. Tifa rolls her eyes and runs out the door, coming back with Sephiroth in under 20 seconds.

"You need something, Strife?" Sephy walks in and grabs the handle of the Masamune. "My son says you tried to kill him again!" Cloud answers. "It's called building character!" Sephy yells. "Why're you yelling!" Cloud yells back. "Because I can!" Sephy yells back. "Hello students and staff of Destiny High! This is Axel here saying, I'm the coolest guy here cause I'm so hot! I'm so hot, my friends call me the Heat Mizer!" Axel yells on the intercom. "Here we go again!" Cloud runs out the door. "So" Sephy turns to the kids. "Don't kill me!" Wakka jumps out the window of the three story window. "What? All I was going to do was apologize! Sheesh, kids these days!" Sephiroth shakes his head as he walks out the door. "So, what class do we have next?" Sora looks over to Riku. "Science" Riku answers. "Who's the teacher?" Selphie asks from her body cast. "Mr. Zexion" Riku answers. "At least he isn't the killer type"

After a few more minutes of healing, the group was back on track. "In case you're not the keyblade wielder or Riku for that matter, my name is Mr. Zexion and I'll be your science teacher" Zexion walks in the room and sets a briefcase down on his desk. Tidus raises his hand. "Yes?" Zexion turns to him. "How old are you?" Tidus asks. Zexion raises an eyebrow. "Anyways, we're going to be making a replica, like I did with Riku" he pulls some sheets off of a human like figure next to him. "Hi, I'm Riku" the replica waves his hand. "I'm Riku!" Riku stands up from his seat. "No, I'm Riku!" the replica shouts. "I'm Riku!" Riku slams his fist down. "Hi Riku!" Rikku slams open the door. "Get out of here Rikku!" the two shout. "Who's Riku?" Sora shrugs. "I'm Riku!" the two shout at him. "I'm the _real _Riku and Sora can prove it!" Riku points to Sora. "I can?" Sora tilts his head to the side. "Sora!" Riku stomps his foot.

"Hmm..." Sora looks at them closely. "I can't tell" Sora sighs. "What? I'm the one wearing the regular clothes!" Riku points to himself. "So am I, so I'm the real Riku!" the replica stomps his foot. "No I'm Riku!" Riku points. -A little later after class- "Why couldn't I keep the replica to put in my Riku shrine?" Sora groans. "Because I'm the rea- wait, what did you say?" Riku looked over to Sora. "Nothing!" Sora smiled. "So now what do we do?" Selphie plops down on swings. "This school is crazy, ya?" Wakka sits down on a bench. "Got that right" Tidus plops down on the ground.

"Nobody can defeat the Heat Mizer!" Axel runs by being chased by Cloud. "Come back here!" Cloud slows down and faints on the ground. "Does your dad need to go back to the wacky shack?" Tidus looks over to Sora. "He's supposed to go back in a few weeks" Sora sits against the wall. "Hey guys, what're we doing out here anyway? School's still in" Selphie asks. The others shrug. "We're going to be killed if we go back in there" Tidus looks over to her. "Ya know what guys?" Sora starts. Everybody looks over to him. "I dunno" he looks down. Suddenly, a shovel sticks out of the ground and throws the sand out of the way to Sora's face. "My eyes! They BURN like crazy man!" Sora starts to roll all over the ground. "Freedom!" Kadaj bursts out of the hole. "And you told me to hang in there?" Riku walks over to him. "I can't take Ansem's stupid lesson!" Kadaj plops onto the ground. "Welcome to my world" Riku smiles.

"Get back here, girl! You're not out yet!" Sephiroth chases Kairi out of the school. Vincent happens to jump out of one of the four story windows in his Galian Beast form and scare off some random kid. "Puppy!" Sora smiles. He changes back and looks over to him. "No!" he points. "Vinny!" Cloud automatically wakes up. "I'm outta here!" Vincent runs back into the school. "Hey, you kids are late for flouristing class!" Marluxia walks out of the doors. "You, have got, to be kidding me" Riku sighs. "Get in here!" Marluxia takes out his scythe. Everybody runs in, basically tripping all over each other. "We're going to be making flower wreaths!" Marluxia picks up a wreath he made himself. "Wake me up from this nightmare!" Tidus bangs his head continuously on his desk. "Aw, come on guys, they look kinda cute" Selphie smiles. "Of course there's something wrong with you, ya!" Wakka points at her. "And this guy's supposed to be the 'Elegant Assassin's Blade'? Yeah, right" Riku rolls his eyes.

"Guess what flowers going to use?" Marluxia asks. Everybody groans except Selphie. "We're going to use, roses!" he holds up a bouquet of roses. "Somebody kill me now!" Riku falls off his chair.


	6. Riku's Plan and Axel's Insanity

"Must, get, strawberry soda" Sora walks down the hallway like a zombie. He turns sharp corners until he stumbles upon the vending machine. Like himself, he walks right into it, still trying to walk. "Lets see" he goes through his pockets, searching for a dollar. He pulls one out of his wallet and sticks it in. It comes back out. "Go in!" Sora puts it back in, but the same thing happens. "Work you evil thing!" he keeps trying to put it in, but the same thing keeps happening until he finally kicks it. The machine goes crazy, basically spiting out sodas and gears everywhere. Sora tries to dodge them, but fails. Finally after being hit to the ground, one last soda shoots at his butt and the machine breaks down. "Great, another busted one!" Zexion walks by and sticks an 'Out of order' note on what's left of the machine, not even bothering to help Sora.

-A few minutes later- "Soda!" Sora kneels down before Riku, holding up the soda. "Sora, you don't know anything do you? I said Black Materia! Not soda!" Riku wacks Sora with a newspaper. "Lay off, Riku. He's not the smartest person when he's controlled, but he does try!" Selphie crosses her arms. "How hard is 'Black Materia!'" Riku sighs. "Black Materia!" Sora pulls something out of his pocket. "Sora, that's a black marble" Riku points. "Riku is not pleased?" Sora looks up. "No, I am not pleased" Riku answers. Sora totally breaks down and has an episode. "Why're here again, ya?" Wakka asks. "I told you, we're going to blow this school to bits and live happily back on the islands" Riku answers. "Actually, I meant why're we here, in your locker?" Wakka asks. "Because, my dad made my locker special. It's a complete room big enough for all of us to fit" Riku smiles. "Anybody wanna play Mario Bros. with me?" (I don't own that!) Tidus asks from the corner with a widescreen T.V. "How come you get all this?" Selphie asks. "Cause my dad loves me the most in the family" Riku answers.

"Where is the Black Materia anyways?" Tidus asks from the T.V. "It's in Strife's office, but only the staff can go in there. I heard it's tightly secured" Riku answers. "Then why send Sora?" Wakka asks. "He's the principal's son, he can get in anywhere. A few weeks ago, Sora shoplifted a bunch of candy off a store his dad owned, and he got away with it!" Riku complains. "Cannot please Riku!" Sora cries. "Oh fine" Riku waves his hand. "Woah, what happened?" Sora stands up, holding his hollow head. "We'll just have to get it ourselves" Riku jumps off his really really REALLY (Okay, maybe not that really) high throne like chair. "Candy!" Sora smiles, seeing the marble and eats it. As soon as he eats it, he starts to hold his neck and starts coughing. Everybody just watches as he starts rolling on the ground, turning an alarming blue. "Anybody gonna help him?" Tidus asks. Everybody shrugs. Sora keeps doing this until he lays flat on the ground, chest still, eyes rolled back, and mouth open. "So" Selphie clears her throat.

"Alright, alright!" Riku walks over to Sora. He bends down and cups Sora's mouth, bringing his closer and closer to his until...He gets up and runs out his locker door, while scaring some weird kid on the way out. "So, who wants to revive him?" Tidus asks. "Lets just get him to the nurses office" Selphie picks up Sora's ankles and drags him out the locker.

-Whereever Riku is- "And people thought I'd actually do that!" Riku walks around in the hallways. Suddenly, he spots Axel on the ground, holding his legs and looking completely freaked out. "What's your problem?" Riku looks down at him. "They took away...my weapons. The power of fire...GONE!" he yells, the hallways echoing his word. He scrambles in his pockets and finally pulls out a box of worn out matches. He picks up the last unused one and lights it. "Yes!" Axel shoots up. "Fire lives forever! Nobody can throw away the Heat Mizer!" Axel yells, still crazy. Riku tries to slowly back up as Axel comes at him, but finally turns around and runs. "Man get away from me!" Riku yells as Axel runs after him, covering the match with his hand so it doesn't go out.

-In the health office- "And that's what happened" Selphie finishes explaining to Tifa. "That's just like him, always eating something he thinks is candy. I mean, just last week I found him chewing several stuffed bears he thought were gummy bears" Tifa laughs. "He also ate my lip gloss sticks last week! I found him eating them in my bathroom and when he saw me, he took the ones he didn't eat and jumped out the window!" Selphie pouts, all of them completely forgetting that Sora's still not breathing. "Oh well. Lets get back to the matter at hand" Tifa turns to Sora. "Can you do anything for him?" Wakka asks. "Well, the only way to get that out, is to cut open his neck and take it out" Tifa takes something from out of the first aid kit. "Wouldn't it be easier to use the punch procedure?" Wakka asks. "Nah, I like this one better" Tifa starts up a chainsaw.

-However Riku is doing- Riku dashes behind a corner, trying to catch his breath. "That guy's got issues!" Riku thinks. He slowly peeks behind the corner while a hand creeps onto his shoulder. "AAAAHHHH!" Riku screams, feeling Axel grab him. "Come play with the fire!" Axel yells. "Get away from me!" Riku runs back around the corner. Once Riku thinks he's lost him in an empty part of the school, the blinds on the windows suddenly go down, blocking out the sun. The lights dim down and start to blink on and off. One of the doors behind him shuts automatically and a song comes on the intercom. "Here's a knife, here's a gun, here's some fun for everyone! Death's on the menu tonight!" the song says all happy like. Riku starts to twitch and backs up to the wall. Suddenly, something runs to him and he screams.

-Back at the health office- "All done" Tifa cleans the chainsaw. The other three are just sitting down on some chairs, completely shocked at what they just saw. Sora is back to normal except for the huge scar on his neck and the neckbrace he has to wear. "You should've just used the punch procedure" Wakka says. "Now that would be child abuse!" Tifa points a finger as she throws the chainsaw into a 'first aid' closet. Riku's scream echoes through the whole school and wakes Sora up. "Riku!" he screams, his voice really weak and bitter. "See, it works like a charm" Tifa smiles. "Must, save, Riku!" Sora rolls off the bed. "Sorry, sweetie. Thanks to the way I cut you open, you'll still have body problems" Tifa smiles. "NOOOOO!" Sora says quietly. "What was that, Sora?" Tifa puts a hand to her ear.


	7. Fire and Ice

"Come on, have some tea!" Axel shakily holds a teapot in front of Riku who is tied up to a chair. "Uh, no thank you" Riku shakes his head. "But I made it extra hot!" Axel whines. "Why not try giving something hot to Vexen?" Riku asks. Axel starts to twitch angrily. "Because Vexen thinks he's soooo cool!" he yells. "Okay, okay!" Riku freaks out. Axel pours him some red looking water into his cup. "How do I know this isn't some type of poison?" Riku asks. "It's not!" Axel whines. "Well, just to check" Riku takes the cup with his very tightly tied fingers and hops the chair over to a plant nearby. "If this plant survives then I'll drink it" Riku explains. He pours it in and suddenly the plant catches on fire. "How hot did you make this again?" Riku backs away from it. "Extra HOT!" Axel nods. "And you made it like that with your match?" Riku raises an eyebrow. "YEP!" Axel yells. 'I seriously need to get those weapons back' Riku thinks as Axel overflows his cup.

-Wherever Sora is- "Must get to Riku!" Sora crawls on the floor. "Give it up Sora. We don't even know where he is. He just ran off when he was about to give you mouth to mouth" Selphie sighs as she and the others are sitting on Sora. "Mouth to mouth!" Sora freaks out. "How long does this school last?" Wakka asks. "Til five" Tidus answers. "In the afternoon?" Sora gives up. Tidus starts cracking up and rolling on the floor. "I wish!" he says between his laughing. "But we have to start getting ready at seven in the morning!" Selphie exclaims. "Oh well, our lives are over ya?" Wakka sighs. "Get offa me!" Sora shakes them off. "At least my snail can go faster than you can crawl!" Selphie pouts. "What're you kids doing? You're all late for ice sculpture class" Vexen comes walking along. "What the heck is ice?" Wakka asks. "It's frozen water and it's very cold" Vexen explains as he drags them all to the class room. "What is cold?" Sora asks (They live on an island! There's no such thing as 'ice' or 'cold') "This is!" Vexen freezes him. "Any other questions?" Vexen asks nicely. Everybody shakes their heads. "Good!" he shouts.

-Elsewhere- "How does it taste?" Axel asks. "I completely burnt my tongue! How do you think it tastes!" Riku cries. "HOT!" Axel yells. "How about some coffee?" Axel asks. "No darkin WAY, unless you have decaf" Riku answers. "Axel, what're you doing?" Zexion happens to walk in wherever they are. "Hiya Zexy! Wanna join our tea party?" Axel asks. "In the staff bathroom? You've got to be outta your mind" Zexion crosses his arms. "He is" Riku wiggles in the chair. "Do you know where they put his weapons?" Riku whispers. "Vexen has them frozen since nobody could really touch them" Zexion answers. "Then I have another job to do! Axel, do you want your weapons back?" Riku asks. "Yes!" Axel slumps on the table. "Then you have to come with me" Riku tries to wiggle out of the chains. "Yay!" Axel cheers. "Get me outta these things first!" Riku exclaims. "I'm outta here" Zexion walks out. "Wait! Don't leave me here with him!" Riku jumps after him.

-In room 1C3- "Why's it like this in here?" Tidus shivers. "It's an ice sculpture class. What do you expect?" Vexen crosses his arms. "Sora doesn't look like he's thawing out" Selphie looks over to the giant ice block near an airvent. "He'll cool off eventually" Vexen creates an ice block. "Today, we're going to learn how to sculpt a palm tree" he announces. "But I've never sculpted anything in my life, ya?" Wakka whines. "Too bad, you're gonna sculpt it and you are going to like it!" Vexen points. "Maybe Ansem was better" Selphie whispers to Tidus. "No kidding, maybe even Sephiroth" Tidus whispers back. "Do I need to put the both of you in my ice box?" Vexen asks. "This place is already an ice box!" a kid yells. "Don't talk back!" Vexen points at him and he explodes into a block of ice. "AS I was saying!" Vexen slams his fists down on the table. "Your tools will be this mallet and this pick" he passes them out.

-A few rooms away- "Weapons!" Axel screams. "Hold on! Yeesh, Sora is better than this" Riku hops in his chair until they make a stop. "Okay, untie me now" Riku says firmly. "Can't you hop without any troubles?" Axel asks. "Dude, I cannot do that" Riku tries to keep his cool. "Why not?" Axel asks. "Because we're at the **top of the STAIRS!**" Riku yells. "Fine, hold still" he tries to get the key out of his pocket when suddenly, he accidentally pushes Riku and he falls, he just falls down the stairs. "Sorry!" Axel calls down. "The time I really want my dad and he's not around" Riku complains. "Hey, I found an elevator" Axel smiles as he comes out of the elevator next to Riku. "You know I'm gonna kill you once I get out of here right?" Riku asks. "Um..." Axel starts. "Lets just keep going" Riku gets up and hops down the hall. "Is this it?" Riku asks as he stops at room 1C3. "Yes, and since we're here, I can rid of the traitors!" Axel says in a state or country of duty. "That you were supposed to do in Castle Oblivion about a month ago?" Riku looks up at him seriously. "I got invited to a party, I had to put it off!" Axel tries to excuse. "Put off til a month later. Lets get this over with" Riku bangs on the door.

-Inside- "I can't do it!" Tidus throws his tools to the ground. "Too bad!" Vexen says from his desk where he is reading the Daily Boring. "My f-fingers are turning black" Selphie tries hard to sculpt it. "Next time, bring some gloves" Vexen rolls his eyes. "What's wrong with Wakka?" Selphie whispers to Tidus. They both look over to him to see that he's frozen in this goofy position. "It's too late for him" Tidus shakes his head. Suddenly, the door is knocked down and Axel and Riku come in. "You!" Axel points to Vexen. "You!" Vexen points to Axel. "What's up with you guys?" Riku jumps over to them. "We're feeling one of natures weapons" Selphie holds her arms. "How come you're not freezing?" Tidus asks. "I've been with mister 'Heat Mizer' half the day! Plus, I'm too hot to be cool" Riku flips his hair back. "That's not fair!" Tidus pouts. "To you maybe not. Hey, use that pick to get me outta this thing" Riku turns around. While they're doing that, lets turn back to Axel and Vexen shall we? "It's time I get rid of the traitors" Axel rolls up his sleeves. "Traitor? Who was the one on the intercom an hour ago?" Vexen gets out his shield.

"Whatever, I came back for what's mine" Axel growls. "Try and take it!" Vexen smirks. Axel looks around hastily for his weapons until he sees them frozen in the back of the room. He puts his hand out to them and the ice starts to shake until it tips over. "Wait, hang on" Axel holds up a finger. "Come on!" Axel focuses harder. The ice starts to move slowly over to him. "Any day now" Vexen looks at the imaginary watch on his wrist. "Oh, this should be good" Tidus grabs a bag of popcorn as Selphie unchains Riku. "Or possibly the worst show in history. Where's Sora?" Riku asks. The two of them point to the airvent where Sora is cooling off. "I can't keep my eyes off him for one minute" Riku shakes his head. He puts a hand on it and it automatically melts. "Wet!" Sora screams. "Calm down" Riku rolls his eyes. "Riku!" Sora says with stars in his eyes, but Riku puts a hand in his face. "Tomorrow, I just had some tea" Riku says. "Fine" Sora pouts. "Riku, a little help over here!" Axel calls over. Riku walks over and puts a finger on it and the ice melts. "Hah! The Heat Mizer is back!" Axel holds up his weapons like a maniac.

"Heat Mizer or not, you still can't win against Mr. Icy Freeze!" Vexen powers up. "Boo!" all the students yell. "We'll just see about that!" Axel powers up. Soon, there's this crazy battle between fire vs. ice and a chicken Sora happen to throw in. "What was that for?" Riku looks over to him. "Maybe it'll come back fried, I'm hungry" Sora shrugs. "If it does, you have to share with me" Riku explains. Suddenly, a lightning bolt strikes the two of them. "Yeesh, kidnapped for one minute and the two of you are fighting each other, but none of you bother to come looking for me!" Larxene stomps in. "We're sorry" they both say like a little kid. "You two are lucky I don't tell Strife!" she smiles at her victory. "Or Mr. Valentine for that matter!" Sora jumps in. "And what happened to you kids? Vexen try killing you guys again?" she asks. "Eh sure" Selphie shrugs. "Well off to your next class!" she points out the door. They all run out, Sora holding the fried chicken in a bucket.


	8. An Evil Health Class!

Maaaaaannnn, I really need to update some more!

"So whatcha doin?" Axel asks. "We're gonna blow up the school with the black materia, for the one millionth time!" Riku yells. "Why?" Axel tilts his head like a bird. "Do you want to be here?" Riku asks. "I get pai-" "Do you?" Riku cuts Axel off. "Well I kinda-" "Do you?" "But I get a free lun-" "DO YOU?" Riku yells. "No" Axel whispers. "One of us!" Sora cheers. "Well if Sora's gonna be in the group then of course I'll come" Axel tackles Sora down. "Happy Sora!" Sora smiles. "Great, so now we got a fire gu-" "That's MR. HEAT MIZER to you!" Axel cuts off Selphie. "So what can you do?" Tidus asks. "I can do this!" Axel crosses his arms behind his back and is able to bring them back over his head. The group just stares at him with a disgusted look, except for Sora who's looking at him with stars in his eyes. "What?" Axel looks around confused.

"Where's the weird haired kid?" Axel asks. "Wakka seemed dead frozen so we took him to the health office" Selphie answers. "He's not comin back is he?" Axel asks Riku. "Not a chance!" Riku chuckles. "So where to next?" Tidus asks. "Health. Maybe this class'll be easy" Riku shrugs. "Health! Xemnas is teaching that class!" Axel shouts. "Annnnndddd?" Selphie looks up to him. "He's evil!" Axel looks down at her. "So were you" Riku makes a point. "But I'm good now!" Axel smiles like a little school girl. "He's very good!" Sora huggles him. "Lets just get this over with, before I start to puke" Tidus opens the class door.

"Good afternoon, students. I am Mr.-" "Mansex!" Axel points from his seat. Sora starts crackin up while everybody else stares at Axel. "Axel, what have I told you about that and why're you in this class?" Xemnas tries to keep his cool while everybody sees him turning as red as a tomato or lobster, either one's gooooooood. "Um...I'm not smart?" Axel shrugs.

"You're smart enough to leave, aren't you?" Xemnas points to the door. Axel reaches into his coat pocket, takes out a hammer and throws it out the classroom window. "What did that have to do with anything?" Riku slams his fists down. "I dunno" Axel smiles. "Fine, you can stay in my class as long as you don't break anymore of my windows" Xemnas pinches the bridge of his nose. "Success!" Axel cheers. "Why the windows?" Tidus asks. "We're on a very low budget in this school" Xemnas answers. Suddenly, the window wall falls off the building, taking half the class with it and crashing down on some preschoolers who happened to be there. "Now das scary" Riku says in shock.

"In my class, you would expect to learn how to keep away from drugs, exercising, and keeping your self from getting a fat butt, am I right?" Xemnas asks. What's left of the class nods. "Well not today! We're gonna skip right to the horror stuff! The Reproductive System of Humans!" Xemnas smirks, slamming his hands down on the desk. "What's the reproductive system?" Sora asks. Xemnas smirks probably his smirkiest smirk in all that have smirked (Except Sephiroth).

-30 minutes later- "My eyes! They buuuuurrrrnnn!" Sora runs around covering his eyes. "Nobody said we were gonna WATCH where the baby comes out!" Riku huddles himself in a corner, holding his knees. "See how evil he is!" Axel points to Xemnas. "I am so not getting a boyfriend!" Selphie bangs her head on the wall. Tidus, he's been hurling in a trashcan since the second half of class. "Come on, people! It's totally normal! The system makes hearts, and the more hearts made, the faster Kingdom Hearts can be made!" Xemnas says evily. "Peewwww" Axel complains. "Yo, Xemnas? You got a dollar? I need it to get some chips" Demyx opens the door to the room.

"Demyx! Take us out of here!" Axel tackles him down. "Why?" Demyx tilts his head like a bird. Axel whispers something to him. "Everybody who wants out, come with me!" Demyx picks Axel up and runs out the door. "C'mon Riku!" Sora helps Riku up who is still in shock. "Maybe I should like Sora" Riku shudders.

"So this was our next class anyways?" Sora asks. "Exactly! I saved your butts!" Demyx smiles. "Demyx my friend!" Axel holds onto his legs. "So which class do you teach?" Sora asks. "Which class? Look around" Demyx puts his arms to the side. Sora looks around the pool room and shrugs. "Drivers ED?" Sora guesses. "You're that stupid?" Riku is about to slap the back of Sora's head, but sees his sad face and decides to let it go. "I teach swimming, duh" Demyx rolls his eyes.

"But, we already know how to swim" Tidus laughs. "Well in my class, we swim in a suprise emergency situation, like someone drowning. You see that dummy over there?" Demyx turns to the pool where a girl dummy is floating at the end of the pool. "You're gonna try and get it. Are you ready?" Demyx asks. "Hah! Piece of cake!" Tidus takes off his shoes and shirt as he walks to the pool. "Cake? Where? I want cake!" Sora looks around. "Get goin!" Demyx knocks Tidus into the pool with his sitar.

"What was that for?" Tidus yells when he resurfaces. "Hurry! You got about 10 seconds before the sharks come get you!" Demyx points to the doll. "The wh-" Tidus is suddenly dragged under and sharks can be seen where he was. "Now we have a surprise emergency. Would anybody volunteer to help Tidus out?" Demyx looks around. Everybody stays still and quiet. "That's my Demyx!" Axel smiles. "Kinda makes you wonder if that dummy is an actual girl" Riku whispers to Sora.


	9. When Riku Loses It

I'm none to proud with this one. So if it sucks, play along with it. If it doesn't, you win the ultimate prize of an autographed picture of Riku!

"Okay, so we've been tortured by a bunch of teachers" Riku lists. "Hey I didn't torture you!" Axel complained. "Right, like you haven't been doing that now?" Riku raises an eyebrow. "Noooooo!" Axel spits his tongue out. "Anyways, we've all nearly been killed and/or hurt mercilessly" Riku states. "I haven't!" Sora threw his hands in the air from Axel's lap. "That's your imagination" Selphie glared at him from her seat. "Really? Then I've been imagining Riku taking off his shirt and dumping water on him?" Sora asked. Selphie and Riku stared at him with disgusted looks, especially Riku. "Y'know, I keep imagining Axel wearing tight pants too" Sora looked up to Axel. "I am hot in tight pants!" Axel huggled him. "No, I am!" Riku yelled. "You know I'm hot!" Axel spit his tongue out. "I can imagine it now" Sora sighed dreamily. "Well in his imagination, I'm hotter!" Riku pointed to Sora. "Actually, Axel i-" "I'm hotter!" Riku yelled.

"Y'know, why don't we just complain to Strife?" Selphie suggested. "Because I think your suggestions are plain stupid" Riku answered. "What?" Selphie said, veins popping out her head. "Awwwww, this is just how Riku gets when he's annoyed to much" Sora said as Axel gave him a piggy back ride. "Maybe I should start dating Kairi. She's lookin pretty hot" Riku thought. "No, Riku! Don't go to the darkside!" Sora jumped off Axel's back. "Snap outta of it!" Sora began slapping him.

"Heheheh, I'm a happy bunny!" Riku laughed crazily as Sora hit him. "No you're not! You're a mega hot bishounen! A mega hot bishounen who's the son of the greatest villian on the planet!" Sora shook him. "Wow, Sora. You actually sound smart" Selphie twitched.

"Sora IS smart deep deep deep" 5 minutes later "deep down inside" Axel smiled. Suddenly, Riku began to drool and his eyes rolled back into his head and he turned a pale color. "Riku? Riku?" Sora shook him. "NOOOOOOOOOO! WIIIIIIIKUUUUUUUUU!" Sora screamed to the ceiling. "Aw man. He just totally shut off" Axel poked at him with his chakrams. "His annoying tank couldn't take it" Sora shakes his head. "And now, I must run some water over his dying body" Sora walked into a bathroom that happened to be right next to them.

-10 minutes later- "He's been in there a long time" Selphie sighs. "I'm calling the police" Axel takes out his cellphone. "Like that's gonna help" Selphie mumbles. "It didn't work!" Sora walked out of the bathroom. "He kept spitting it back into my face" Sora shook the water off. "Duck...Sandwich" Riku mumbled. "Wha?" Axel asked. "Mega duck sandwich!" Riku smiled as his eyes came back to normal. "Oh Sora, lets get married!" Riku huggled him. "I wish we could, but my mom says not until I learn how to tie my shoes" Sora sighs. "Hey, he's my Sora!" Axel snatched him away from Riku. "He's my cheese!" Riku grabbed onto Sora's hand. "Okay, we are going to Strife!" Selphie crossed her arms.

-In the Office. You know, _the_ office- "You see what your school has done?" Selphie slammed her fists down on his desk. "No I havent, I've been doing a great job" Cloud lays back in his chair shaped like a...giant teddy bear? "Oh yeah? Here's your proof!" she brings in the others. "I'll make a man outta you!" Riku points to Sora. "Really?" Sora looked at him as he dragged him into the room. "He does have abs" Axel thinks. "See what your stupid school has done to Riku?" Selphie pointed to Riku. "Go get some snacks, and a car-bo-nat-ed so-da" Riku smiled. "Which type do you want?" Sora asked. "Chocolate milk" Riku drooled. "You got it!" Sora runs out the door. "Ya see?" Selphie turns to Cloud, only to see him sleeping.

"STRIFE!" Sephiroth burst through the door. "Wha?" Cloud shot up. "I ran out of kids to kill, I mean, massacre" Sephiroth slammed his fists down on the desk. "Here's a plushie" Cloud hands him a plushie of himself. "Not happy!" Sephiroth yelled. "Um, are you Riku's in-need-of-an-asylum dad?" Selphie asked. "Who wants to know?" Sephiroth turned to her. "I think your son needs to!" she points to Riku. "Every little song I wrote, I want to sing them note for note. Don't worry, be happy" Riku nods his head. "Riku! What the heck happened to you?" Sephiroth walked over. "He had an overload and now he's crazy" Axel pokes at him.

"I must burn down Nibelheim!" Riku yells. "I don't see a problem" Sephiroth crosses his arms. "Check again" Axel held Riku closer to Sephiroth. "Fooooooorrrr, nausea, heartburn, indegestion, upset stomach, diarrhea" Riku twirls around and then falls to the ground. "What have you done to my son!" Sephiroth turns to Cloud. "Why is everybody blaming it on me?" Cloud complains. "Cause you're the principle" Axel narrowed his eyes. "So I am" Cloud rubs his chin. "You're gonna pay Strife!" Sephiroth put his hand on the hilt of the Masamune. "Okay, how much?" Cloud takes out his wallet. "Not like that" Sephiroth slowly walked over to him.

"They only had cereal soda. Sorry Riku" Sora comes back. "You want answers!" Riku gets up. "I want chees-" "You can't handle the truth!" Riku cuts Sora off and then falls onto a chair. "Do you need a magazine to read, sir and/or madame?" Cloud walks over to Riku and hands him a book. He opens it and starts to giggle. "Sora" he smiles. "Yes?" Sora walks over to him. "Read between the lines, Sora. Read between the LINES!" Riku forces the book into his face. "Scary!" Sora falls backwards. "I'm going to get some tacos" Axel walks outta the room. "Wait, you can't leave us now!" Selphie calls. "I just did, sucka!" Axel yells.

-20 minutes later- "Ma-ma-ma-ma maishirona!" Riku rolls on the ground. "There's gotta be something that'll wake him up" Axel finishes his third taco. "Yeah, but what?" Selphie asks. "Why're you asking me? I just said there's gotta be something to wake him up. Yeesh!" Axel rolls his eyes. "Hehehehehe, Riku's funny" Sora points. "Where did I go wrong, Riku? When!" Sephiroth yelled from his chair. "Hey Sephiroth, they pair you with me in this book!" Cloud smiles. "It gets even worse!" Sephiroth starts to hit his head on the wall.

Sora looked around the room and a lightbulb lit above his head. "Sorry, I was doing a magic trick" Axel brings the magic lightbulb back to him. "Well, I've got an idea anyways" Sora smiles. "Sora's got an idea? It must be the end of the world" Selphie sighs. "Ooooooooooh, Riku?" Sora looked over to him. "It's Spartacus!" he points to Sora. "Look at what I found" Sora walks over to a bookshelf and picks something off it. "Present for Riku?" Riku walks over. "Maaaaybe" Sora hides it behind his back.

"I love you Santa!" Riku falls onto his butt. "Here you go" Sora tosses him something. "This is!" Riku looks at what's in his lap. "What you wanted" Sora helps him up. "The BLACK MATERIA!" Riku held it up with lightning flashing in the background. "Larxene must be working on the roof" Axel sighed. "I finally got it!" Riku smiled as he came back to his senses. "Thanks, Sora" Riku huggled him. "Aw, I'd do anything for you Riku" Sora huggled him back. "Thanks to you too, Axel" Riku turned to him. "I was bored" Axel laid back in his chair. "Hey, what about me? If I hadn't dragged you here, you wouldn't have gotten that thing" Selphie shouted.

"Yeah, like I need to thank you for not even playing along with my out-of-control behavior" Riku spit his tongue out. "Hey, that's school property" Cloud finally noticed Riku. "Well it's mine now, and I'm gonna blow up this school with it!" Riku put it in his pocket. "That's my boy" Sephiroth left, wiping tears from his eyes. "I make my family so proud" Riku put his hands on his hips. "I'm getting security" Cloud lifted what look like a stuffed chocobo plushie and pushed a button. "Bail!" Sora yelled as all of them ran out the door.


	10. The New Recruit

Fruity tooty! Guess who's baaaccckkk...

"Oh, materia of darkness, hear my cries and shatter this pathetic school to bits!" Riku held up the Black Materia. "Can I get some fries with that?" Sora asked. "Sora, what did I tell you before?" Riku looked over to him. "No tackling on Mondays?" Sora shrugged. "No! I told you I needed silence!" Riku sighed. "You _need_ silence?" Axel leaned against the door. "Yes!" Riku explained. "Please, we've been up on the roof for an hour now, are you sure you know how to work it?" Axel asked. "Oh yeah, Riku can work it!" Sora began to drool. "Sora, I told you before, not in public!" Riku whispered. "But really, do you?" Axel asked again. "You gotta wait for it first!" Riku walked back over to the edge. "For how long?" Axel asked once again. "I DUNNO KNOW!" Riku yelled out for the whole world to hear.

"I just wonder how my dad got this to work?" Riku looked at the black ball in his hands. "Maybe you have to eat it?" Sora suggested. "Well if we have to, you get to eat it" Riku looked back at him. "Yay, gumball!" Sora cheered. "This is no gumball, Sora. Trust me, Kadaj got gumballs and materia mixed up and he had problems for a week (Does this remind you of a CERTAIN story of mine...?). "I can't believe you guys ditched me!" Selphie burst open the door, nearly knocking Axel off the building. "I got twelve days of ISS thanks to you guys ditching me" she showed them the pink slip. "It was _you_ who decided to follow along with us, so it's _your_ fault!" Riku pointed. Selphie pouted and crossed her arms.

"Back to the materia problem" Riku looked back at the materia. "Maybe you should ask your pops what to do" Axel suggested. "Why would Riku ask some cereal on how to work the materia?" Sora looked up to Axel. Axel smiled and huggled him. "That's why I wuv you, Sora. It's cute to see you stupid" he swung him around. "Excuse me, but that's MINE!" Riku pointed to them. "You have to share!" Axel dropped to his butt and continued to hug Sora. "I feel so cuddly!" Sora stuck his tongue out in the cute way.

"Maybe you _should _ask your dad" Selphie tapped his shoulder. "Fine, alright!" Riku yelled, heading towards the door. And so, Riku walked down the stairs until he reached a mostly destroyed gym, where his brothers were playing hot potato with...a skull? "Where's dad's office?" Riku asked. "Hang on!" Yazoo tried to catch the skull, but dropped it. "Dammit!" Yazoo cursed. "Hah! You know the drill, Yazoo!" Kadaj laughed. Yazoo sighed and took a skeleton bone off the floor and stuffed it into his pants. He made a disgusted face, but managed to keep from heaving. "What...did...you need?" Yazoo turned to Riku, slowly.

"Dad's office?" Riku asked. "Over there" Yazoo pointed to a cave like hole in the wall. "Wow, okay" Riku nodded. "What'd you do to make dad happy anyways?" Yazoo asked. "I'm following in his footsteps!" Riku smiled proudly, just as Yazoo got hit with the skull. "You know what happens the third time, Yazoo!" Loz smiled. Yazoo turned back around, picked up the skull and opened not only his pants...but his underwear as well. "I'm goin!" Riku ran for the office.

Past the mile long cave pathway, Sephiroth was doing some paper work at his desk. "Dad?" Riku walked up to him. "Yes?" Sephy looked up from his paper. "How _did_ you get the black materia to work?" Riku asked. "Now that I think of it..." Sephy crossed his arms and closed his eyes. -Back in the day- "Here's your gumball, oh sexy one!" Cloud put the dark materia into the crystal. "Oh, yeah. Thanks" Sepiroth flipped through some magazine pages. "All I remember was the place falling and your grandmother's head knocking me out" Sepiroth shrugged.

"Ewwee, grandmother" Riku shuddered at the thought of seeing her again for the holidays. "This is Cloud Strife!" Cloud yelled on the intercom. "To prevent the child injury and abuse, I have set up the random battle system to stop anybody seeking to destroy my school and to recover my black gumball!" Cloud said. "To prevent child injury? Random battles'll cause more death's than injuries in that order!" Riku sighed. "Try whatever you can, son. Just don't try to anything stupid" Sephy shook his head. "You got it" Riku walked out.

"He's always been my favorite" Sephy smiled. Riku ran through the halls when he's suddenly attacked by a behemoth. It wacks him with his tail, but doesn't damage him very much. "Where the heck did the number 20 come from?" he looked up at the white 20 come off him. Using the Way to the Dawn, he chops of its tail, damaging him by 40 more points. It stomps and waves the ground, but Riku was hanging in the air by his black angel wing and strikes him in the forehead. It automatically dies. As a winning pose, Riku throws the Way to the Dawn up into the air, brushes his hair back and then catches his weapon.

"I'm back!" Riku came through the door, panting. "Hi!" DarkV jumped in front of him. "Good lord!" Riku jumped back. "Where did she come from?" Riku yelled over to Sora. Sora smiled. "Demyx delivered this black and pink box to us, so I opened it!" he explains. "I'm a happy puppy vampire!" DarkV rolls over to Sora. "She's hilarious" Axel sat against the wall. "Got it memorized?" DarkV pointed to her head. "Hey! That's mine! Got it memorized?" Axel pointed to his head. "Well do you know how to use the black materia?" Riku asked. "I wish!" DarkV laughed. "We're doomed" Riku plumped to his butt. "You bet, dumbass!" Selphie stomped over to him.

"Nobody calls my Riku a dumbass!" DarkV turned into a wolf and charged at her, knocking her off the roof . "Puppy!" Sora huggles her. "I'm on sale for $20 on dCay" DarkV wagged her tail. Axel took out his wallet and counted his money. "Maybe Strife has the answer" Axel looked through his wallet. "All the way back there!" Riku yelled. "It's either the school or us. Got it memorized" Axel looked over to him as he put his wallet away.

DarkV changed back and took out her toy cellphone. "DarkV vampire power!" she started and pressed three buttons on it. "Make-up!" she pointed to the sky. In the end, she has wolf ears on the top of her head and a tail popping out of her pants. "What was that for?" Riku twitched. "I love Sailor Moon!" DarkV huggles her phone. "Are we ready?" Axel got up. "I dunno. Sora?" Riku looked around. "Aww, a Roxas plushie!" Sora picked up an Roxas plushie from DarkV's Panda Backpack of Doom. "How much for the plushie?" Axel whispered. "$20" she answers. "Done!" he hands her the money. "Selling a Roxas plushie is selling joy to people!" DarkV gave a thumbs up.


	11. Boy Trouble

I want brownies!

"My bologna has a first name! It's R-i-k-k-y. My bologna has a second name! It's A-x-e-l-y. Oh, I love to eat it everyday and if you ask me why I'll say. Cause Riku and Axel have a way with m-a-n-s-e-x-AY!" Sora sang. Riku looked at him with disgust and Axel giggled. "Why would you name your bolonga?" DarkV asked. "Cause it's fuuun!" Sora laughed. "Sora, that is it!" Riku growled. "No more love!" he pointed. "No more...love?" Sora's eyes got a big and teary teary. "No more!" Riku crossed his arms. Sora sunk to his knees and began to breathe heavily. "Tora?" DarkV leaned down to him. "Sora?" Axel walked over. Sora suddenly clutched his fists. "I HATE YOU RIKU! Go to friggin hell!" Sora screamed and then ran off in the opposite direction. "Sora, come back!" DarkV ran after him.

"I've never seen him so down in the dumpster" DarkV thought as Sora laid in the dumpster outside of the school. He snuffled and tried to keep from crying anymore. "Sora" DarkV hovered over him with her bat wings. He was chewing on a Riku plushie by the head part. "You okay?" she asked. He shook his head and bit the head off. "Oh gosh" she sweatdropped. "You wanna go get some ice cream?" she asked. He shook his head and started to chew on the head. "Uhh...wanna get some Wackdonalds?" she asked. He spit the head back out. "You wanna have Riku with you?" she asked. "RIKU'S A FRIGGIN BASTARD!" Sora yelled.

She thought for a moment...then a few minutes...Sora was starting to eat the stuffing in his plushie. "Hey guys" Kairi walked along. "You ruined my thinking!" DarkV pointed. "How's my Sorry?" she looked up to the dumpster. "Get lost!" he yelled. "Aww, does someone need a hug?" Kairi opened her arms and got closer to him until..."PEACE WITCH!" DarkV kicked her in the face and threw her to the top of the roof.

-Elsewhere- "Did you have to be so cruel to him?" Axel asked. "I'm tired of him telling people about what we do" Riku stomped down the hall. "Then that means," Axel thought, "I get him all to myself!" He started to giggle madly. "What's your problem?" Riku asked. "Nothin" Axel smiled. Riku raised an eyebrow.

-Back at the dump- Sora was starting to bite at his shoes, twitching madly. DarkV sat against the dumpster playing with her cellphone. 'Luna Prism Power! Make-up!' it started to make noises. She giggled and pressed more buttons. Outta the sky, something fell in front of her. "Huh?" she looked up from her phone. "White mini-jacket, black pants, spikey hair" she looked at him. "Cosplay time!" she cheered. "Oh gosh. I never knew gym could be so painful" he got up.

She stared wide-eyed at the boy before her. "Roxy!" she cheered. "Roxy? It's Roxas" he turned around. "Roxas my friend!" she hugged him. "Too tight! Too tight!" he screamed. "Have I got someone for you!" she beamed with confidence. "But I gotta get back to gy-" "NO YOU DON'T!" she screamed. "Ooooh, Sora" she called as he got up, chewing on what looked like a human leg. "Lookie who's here!" she pushed Roxas forward.

"By the makers of inflatable underwear" Sora gasped (What the heck?). "Woah, I'm lovin those eyes" Roxas gasped. "Where have you been all my life!" Sora tackled him. "Where have you?" Roxas rolled on the ground with him. "Oh this should be good" DarkV smirked.

-Elsewhere- "C'mon, stupid machine!" Demyx pounded on the vending machine. "I just want some chips!" he fell to his knees. "And how long have you been here?" Riku walked up to him. Demyx looked up with them with a huge waterfall of tears streaming down his face (Must be part of being a water Nobody). "Chips no come come" he pointed. "Aw, don't cry Demyx" Axel hugged him. "Gosh, all you have to do is kick" Riku kicked the machine. Nothing fell. "And if that doesn't work, you just" Riku broke the glass and stole a candy bar "break it and take it" he unwrapped it. "Oh, thank you" Demyx took some chips. "What happened to the other two that were with you?" he asked. "Selphie's probably at the hospital and Sora ran away" Riku answered. "Why?" Demyx asked. "I broke up with him" Riku shrugged. At that moment all was silent until Demyx slowly got up and..."HE'S ALL MINE!" he ran down the hall, Axel still holding on.

"The hell?" Riku stared at them. He sighed. "Guess I'll have to do this myself" he started down the hall.

-Wherever Sora and Roxas are- "I heard that some people express there words through hand motions" Sora smiled. "I do that a lot" Roxas smiled too. Hearts were floating around them. "Woah, watch me break the fourth wall" DarkV grabbed one of the hearts and ripped it. "What do you wanna do?" Roxas asked. Sora thought, losing even more brain cells if he still had some. "Lets go eat ice cream!" he cheered. "Alright!" Roxas cheered too. "Might aswell follow them" DarkV followed them to the cafeteria.

Once they got there, the place was deserted. "Yes! We have the whole place to ourselves!" Sora got behind the counter, Roxas following. "So what type of ice cream do you like?" he opened the freezer. "Sherbert or sea-salt" Roxas answered. "Me too!" Sora smiled before they started to huggle each other. "What about you?" Roxas turned to DarkV. "I lika da strawberry" she smiled. "Here ya go" Sora handed her a container full of it. "Thankies pankies!" she went over to a corner and started to eat.

-Back to Riku- "Man, this day is turning out to be a real drag" he walked down the hall. "Wouldn't be so bad to have some comedy relief somewhere" he thought. He looked out the hallway window to see a giant squid trying to take one of the buses. "That's not comedy!" he growled. "I wonder what Sora's doing"

-Back in the cafeteria- "We should hang out more" Roxas put away the ice cream containers. "True true" Sora nodded. "Now what?" Sora thought. "No, Sora! Don't hurt yourself anymore!" DarkV put her hand on his head. "To the beach!" she pointed to no where in particular. -So at the beach- Roxas and Sora started to roll around in the sand (Sora's got a huge influence on people) when all of a sudden, Demyx's sitar fell from the sky.

"Hiiiiiii!" Demyx came from behind the thing. "What're you doing here?" DarkV asked. "I came to sing Sora a little song of mine" he picked up his sitar. Out of nowhere came some strange techno like music. "Hatada hatada hatada hey! Playing my sitar everyday!" he started to dance around. "Hatada hatada hatada ho! Want to play? No no no" he waved his finger at them. "You made this song up in under 30 seconds didn't you?" DarkV asked. "Yep" he smiled. "I like my sitar! I like my sitar! I play the sitar, sitar, wherever I go! I like my sitar! I like my sitar! I play the sitar, sitar, wherever I go!" he started to jump around with his sitar.

"Butt thing?" Sora raised an eyebrow. "I love you!" Demyx jumped at him. "What the hell?" Roxas screamed. "And I love you too! I love the both of you!" Demyx huggled the both of them. Just then, two chakrams on fire nearly cut a spike off of Sora's head. Axel jumped off the roof, all cool style, until he crashed into the dumpster. "Those are mine!" he pointed. "You're mine too!" Demyx pointed. "Yes I am!" Axel ran over to them. "You're all gonna fit in my bishie closet!" DarkV laughed as the boys started to roll around int he sand, fighting over each other.


	12. Hit and Run

This chapter's a little (Or more) weird cause I just woke up. Pwease don't hate! (Hides in plushie corner)

Demyx, Axel, and Roxas stared hard at each other. "One" "Two" "THREE!" they laid their hands down. "Tie again!" Demyx sighed. "Told you rock, paper, scissors was a bad idea" Axel rolled his eyes. "Aw, c'mon guys. You can have me anytime of day" Sora said from his little chair in the cafeteria. "Besides, nobody ever wins at rock, paper, scissors" DarkV huggled her Roxas plushie. "Too tight! Too tight!" Roxas screamed from the _"imaginary" _force that was squeezing him"I'm gonna go get some candy!" DarkV got up and ran out the door.

-Wherever Riku is- "This day is starting to get real boring" Riku yawned. He was outside of the main doors. "Since Sora left, things have been reeeaaal quiet" he set his head in the palm of his hands. "Riiiikkkuuuu" a mysterious, but very close voice called. "Who's there?" Riku got up and looked around. A figure dressed in a black and pink sailor scout dress with a mask on jumped off a tree and fell onto a bench.

"OUCH!" they screamed. "I don't really feel like doing this, but since I'm already standing up, are you okay?" Riku walked over. "Um, yeah! Of course!" they got up and dusted themselves off. "Okay, um, oh yeah!" she jumped back. "Who're you?" Riku asked. "I am-" "Who're you?" "I am-" "WHO'RE YOU?" "_I AM _the Remix of Dusk!" she said. "No need to yell, just wondering" Riku crossed his arms.

"Well _I'M_ here to tell you, that Sora doesn't need you anymore" she pointed. "Sora? Where is he anyway?" Riku asked. "I ain't telling you!" she crossed their arms. "Then what was the point of coming here?" Riku asked. "Puuuhhh" the figure thought. Suddenly, Riku was dashed at and hit in the head, making him go reeeaaalllyyy quiet.

-Back to the others- "I love candy" DarkV sat between the boys who're still trying to decide over Sora. "There's gotta be some way to do this" Demyx crossed his arms. "My mom says I'm special, but who's Ed?" Sora asked. The boys smiled and tried to huggle him at the same time, but bumped their heads hard enough it could've killed them. "This won't work out either" Axel sighed. "Why don't all of you spend the day with each other?" DarkV asked.

The boys thought and then cheered. "AXEL!" Saix burst through the doors. "Scary!" DarkV hid behind Roxas. "What do you want, wolfy?" Axel asked. "You took my moonstone again!" he pointed. "How many times do I have to tell you, I don't know where your stupid kidney stone is!" Axel pointed. "Oh now that's twisted" Demyx raised an eyebrow.

"Give it back!" he growled. "I don't have it, stupid!" Axel pointed. "Oh! The thoughts I'm getting!" Demyx screamed, holding his head. Saix ran at Axel and tackled him to the ground before picking up Roxas and running off with him. "NOOOOOOOO!" Demyx yelled. "WHYYYY!" Axel cried. "PIIIIIIEEEEEE!" Sora said for no reason.

"Well, looks like we're gonna be walking" DarkV sighed. "But I'm tired-" "I SAID WE'RE WALKING!" DarkV yelled. "Girl's got an attitude" Axel whispered to Demyx. "I'm telling Sonic and Zack you took their hair style!" she pointed at Axel. "To the idiot mobile!" Axel pointed to nowhere in particular.

Okay, so there wasn't really a car, just a small toy one DarkV just happened to pull out of her Panda Pack of Doom. "Can this go any slower?" Axel groaned. "Sorry, I"m running out of gas" she sweatdropped. "Gas? Looks like it's running on coffee if you ask me" Demyx looked at the coffee holder on the side of the car. "Coffee is evil!" she pointed. "This seat's giving me a butt cramp" Sora rubbed his ass. "Nice to know, Sora" she twitched. "Is this even allowed in school?" Demyx asked.

"Who cares? It's my car" she smiled. "IT'S A TOY!" Axel yelled. "Please, don't distract the driver" she smiled. "Can you at least put on some music?" Demyx asked. She flipped on the radio. "Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy joy joy! Happy happy happy happy happy joy joy joy!" it played. "Good lord!" she screamed. "At least it's over" Sora sighed in relief. "I don't think your happy enough! Happy happ-" but it was destroyed by DarkV shooting it with a gun. "Thank goodness" she laid her head down on the wheel.

"Look out for that kid!" Axel pointed. Out of nowhere, a kid was standing in the way. "Um lets see now...the break is...this one?" she stepped on one of the pedals. Instead of stopping like a normal car, it spead right into the kid who was trying to jump out of the way and killed him. "Oooh, it's the _other_ pedal" she stopped on the pedal. "Oh man, we're in for it now" Sora covered his head. "Where'd you get your license?" Axel asked. "Ooooh, you need a license to drive a toy car?" she sweatdropped. "We're gonna be charged for hit-and-run" Demyx sobbed.

"No worries, there isn't a police in school!" she turned to him and patted his head. Out of random, a toy police car driven by Xigbar happens to come along. "This story's gettin weird" Axel twitched. "Hang on guys!" she stepped on the pedal. And so, she sped down the hall, hitting-and-running anybody who got in her way.

-A few minutes and places later- "In here!" she bailed out of the car with the boys to a room. "Oh now this is great! We're about to be arrested _and_ we're nowhere close to where Roxas is" Axel groaned. "What're you guys doing?" Zexion walked over. "We're looking for Roxas" Demyx said. "I want my Roxy poxy" Sora whined. "Saix just ran by a few minutes ago with Roxas down the hall" he pointed to where he just came from. "Told you we were close" DarkV looked up to Axel.

"Les go!" she started down the hall until..."There you guys are!" Luxord grabbed her arm. "Bloody murder! Bloody murder!" she screamed. "What do you want?" Axel asked. "I teach a CSI class and I need some more kids, duh!" he explained.

"We're not kids" Demyx crossed his arms. "How long have you guys been Nobodies?" Luxord asked. "Oh...geez, when I was killed, I was like, what, 17?" Axel guessed. "Yeah...and I was just, 15?" Demyx guessed. "But," Axel started again "we've been in the Organization for how long? 200 years?" he guessed. "That's old" Sora pointed. "At least we look young, unlike some people!" Demyx looked over to Luxord. "Just get your asses in here" he growled and pulled them all in. Uh! OH!


	13. To Roxas!

"This class makes me wanna hurl" Axel groans. "Shut up!" Luxord yells from the front of the class. "You said this was CSI" DarkV starts. "Yes I did" he nods. "Where's Grissom?" she yells. "Not that type of CSI!" he yells back. Next to her, Demyx was making spit balls and spitting them at the kid next to him. "Teacher!" the kid raises his hand. "What do ya want?" he turns to him. "This weird guy's spitting spit balls at me!" he pointed at Demyx. "Am not" Demyx spits another one into the kid's face.

"Demyx get a job!" Luxord yells. "You're not the boss of me!" Demyx sits up. "I'm the teacher!" Luxord makes a point. "Well I'm higher ranked!" Demyx crosses his arms. "Just by one digit!" Luxord points. "Or your whole life" Demyx smiles. "Oooooh, you got dissed!" Axel spits his tongue out at Luxord. "Out into the hall!" Luxord points. And so, Demyx is forced out into the hall with Luxord following. "What do they do out in the hall anyways?" DarkV asks. "You've never been out there?" Axel asks.

"Nope!" she smils. "Well..." Axel says as they both turn to the door. Through the blurred glass, the outside seemed to turn red, screams of pain could be heard, and last but not least, to add some drama and overreaction, Demyx's hand slides on the glass. "I think I'm gonna cry" she huggles her Axel plushie. "Could you loosen your grip a little?" Axel asks.

Finally, Demyx and Luxord come back in. Demyx looks like he got hit by a train for some reason. "What'd he do to you?" she asks. He shakes his head and mumbles something about "knowing what a hangover feels like." "Poor Demyie!" she hugs him. "Sit down!" Luxord points. "Shut up!" she turned into her wolf form and jumped at him. After the brutal, yet fun, attack, she changes back and smiles, carrying one of Luxord's cards in her mouth.

"Have fun?" Axel asked. "Yep!" she smiled. "To Roxas!" she pointed to the door.

-Elsewhere- "Oh my gosh" Xemnas walks into the teacher's lounge and sits down at the table where some other Organizat-I mean, teachers, are. "What's up with you?" Xigbar asks. "A bunch of the kids in my health class were making fun of the anagram of my name" he answered. "Mansex" Marluxia giggles. "At least I don't carry around a pink scythe!" Xemnas points which automatically makes Marluxia shut up.

"Well...Are you gellin?" Xigbar asks. "Am I what?" Xemnas looks over to him. "Are you gellin?" he asks again. "Gellin?" Xemnas asks. "Here, it's like this" Xigbar gets up and makes Xemnas get up and brings him over to a wall. "See you cross your arms like this" he crosses his arms, "then you lean against the wall" he leans toward the wall, "and then you're gellin!" he finishes.

"That's stupid" Xemnas raises an eyebrow. "Like you are!" Marluxia laughs. "Flower power!" Xemnas points. Marluxia shuts up. "So you try it!" Xigbar says. Xemnas crosses his arms, but when he tries to lean against the wall, he nearly falls to the ground. "This is gonna take a while" Xigbar sighs.

-Anyways- "So what class does Saix teach?" DarkV asks. "I forgot" Axel crosses his arms as they walked. "Isn't it animal science?" Demyx guesses. "Is that even real?" Axel asks. "Iunno" he answers. "This day's just not gonna end" DarkV sighs.

-Elsewhere _again_- "Let's check in here" Seifer opens a door (Had to put him in there somewhere). In there, Seifer in his gang find something moving in a bag. "What's that?" Fuu asks. "Maybe another one of those hamster things" he undoes the rope around the opening. "Well, it could be a person, y'know?" Rai says. "What have I said about your 'y'know' problem?" Seifer points. "Finally!" Riku gets up and runs out the door. "Weird" Seifer raises an eyebrow.

-Whatever- DarkV collaspes. "What's your problem?" Axel asks. "I'm hungry" she groans. Luckily for her, a candy machine was right next to her. "Yay!" she gets up and chooses some chips (Chips in a candy machine...?). Unfortunately, it doesn't come out. "Where's a key when you need one?" she yells. She looks over to Sora. "You've been awfully quiet lately" she just happens to notice.

He giggles a little for some reason. She walks over to him and uses the Keyblade to open the door. "How'd you do that?" Demyx askes. "I can do anything!" she smiles as she throws the key back to Sora. "To the animal science room!" she points down the hall. The others start to head that way when she just opens a door right next to the candy machine. "This way guys" she waves.

"Saix!" Axel yells. Inside, Saix is reading the newspaper at his desk. "What?" he asks. "You know what! Where's Roxas?" Demyx asks. "Oh, he's over there" he nods over to a corner of the room. Roxas is being hung by a rope in the ceiling over some wolves that're trying to bite at him. Axel throws his chakrams and cuts him down, but that wasn't the best idea because Roxas was starting to get bit at.

"Sorry!" Axel calls. He ran in and carried Roxas out with the others. He set him against the wall while they panic like there's no tomorrow. "Now what do we do?" DarkV screams. "CPR!" Demyx guesses. "I don't know how!" Axel says. Demyx looks around and finds a CPR poster. He takes it off the wall and puts it over Roxas's face. "What good will that do?" DarkV raises an eyebrow. He shrugs. "To the nurse!" she points down the hall.

"Roxas!" Sora yells as Roxas lays on the bed. "You've been too quiet" Axel looks over to Sora. "No, I keep forgetting he's with us, that's all" DarkV rolls her eyes. "Howdy!" Tifa slides in. "Fix my Roxy!" Demyx points to him. "Hang on" she goes looking through one of the cabinets. "Here we go!" she takes out some AEDs. "Wait a second!" DarkV waves her arms. "What?" Tifa asks. "Do you have any money?" she asks. Tifa hands her 24 gil. "Yes!" she cheers.

"HOLD ON A SECOND!" Riku busts open the door. "Riku!" Axel turns to him. "Riku!" Demyx turns to him. "Piku?" Sora turns around. "Uh, oh" DarkV sighs. "You!" he points to DarkV. "Wha?" she steps back. "You tied me up in a potato sack and left me in the janitor's closet!" he yells. "How'd you know it was me?" she asks. "Cause you're wearing the same outfit 'Remix of Dusk' was wearing" he points. "Can't help that I like a Sailor suit" she smiles.

"What do you want?" Axel asks. "What is rightfully mine!" he walks over to Sora. "Goway!" Sora waves his arms. "Sora?" Demyx and Axel gasp. "SORA!" Roxas automatically shoots up without Tifa having to use the shocky things. "Aw" she walks away. Riku lifts Sora's shirt and points to his back. "Property of Riku" DarkV reads the tattoo.

"Oh yeah" Sora blushes. "How'd he get that?" Roxas asks. "Some guy thought Sora was real estate, so I marked him for safety" Riku shurgs. "It hurt!" Sora groans. "Sora is my property and he has to do what _I_ say!" Riku growls.

"Why should I? You were being mean!" Sora pouts. Riku throws him to the ground. He tosses the black materia a few inches away from him. "Sora, bring me the black materia!" he points. "Yes, Riku" Sora edges over to it. "Oh, that's so not fair" Axel crosses his arms.

Sora gives Riku the black materia. "Stand up" Riku commands. Sora gets up and salutes him for some reason. "What's up with Roxas?" DarkV turns to Roxas who's standing on the bed. "Roxas?" Axel steps forward. "Jump out that window" Riku points to the window. Both Sora and Roxas run over and break through the window. "NOOOO!" Demyx falls to his knees. "What did you do to Roxas?" Axel shakes Riku. "Child abuse!" Riku screams which automatically makes Axel stop.

"I don't know. I meant for Sora to jump out the window, but if anybody else wants to join him, go right ahead" he nods to the window. "You better hope he's still alive when we get down there, or else my chakrams are goin up your butt!" Axel growls. "Child threat!" Riku screams. "You're so unfair" Axel crosses his arms. "No, I'm just younger than you" Riku spits his tongue out.

"We can't just stand here while Roxas and Sora could be dying down there!" DarkV looks out the window. "I can" Riku crosses his arms. "I said, _WE_ can't stand here, which includes _YOU_!" she backs him up to the wall. "To my car!" she points to the hallway only too see he car being towed by Zexion. "Oh man, and I had data for next fanfic in there" she sighs. "You had what?" Demyx looks over to her. "It's gonna be really cool too. Meh, crap happens. To the stairs!" she smiles.


	14. Day 2 Roxas's Company

Sorry peeps for the long wait, my computer broke. On with the madness!

"Poxas?" DarkV looks over a dazed Roxas. "Sora, get off your ass. You know you head's harder than diamond, right?" Riku looks over Sora (You might want to try and make sense of all that). "I want my mommy!" Sora starts to tear up. "Don't cry!" Roxas huggles him. "Cute" Axel chuckles. "So now what? We still got school to finish?" Demyx asks. "Puuuhhh" Sora starts. "Attention students!" Cloud's voice comes over the intercom. "We're having an early dismissal today, due to some monster problems and RIKU YOU BETTER GIVE ME BACK MY BLACK MATERIA BY TOMORROW OR ELSE casualties. But you better get ready for the rest of the year, it's gonna be full classes! Now get lost"

The group looks at each other. "Well I'm going home" DarkV releases her wings and flies off. "See you guys tomorrow?" Riku asks Axel and Demyx. "We work here. Got it memorized?" Axel waves his hand as they both walk away. "Hey guys!" Kairi comes running out of the school. "Just when I thought she was gone" Sora groans. "How was your guys' first day? Mine was a blast!" she smiles her life stealing smile. "I gotta go" Roxas gets up and runs. "C'mon Sora, lets go wait for the bus on the other side of the island" Riku grabs Sora's arm and drags him to the other side. "If we have one" Sora shrugs.

-The next day- Sora's sleeping peacefully in his bed when..."Waaaake up Destiny Islands! It's a beautiful day as usual in the islets. Clear skies, blue ocean, giant squid trying to eat little kids, the usual!" Sora's radio boomed on. "And I was just about to pour noodles on Riku's head" Sora threw the clock at his closet. "My head!" somebody yells from the closet.

"Okay, boogie man! It's time to settle this!" Sora summons the Keyblade and walks over to the closet. Cautiously, he opens the closet to find…."AHHHHH!" Sora jumps back and scoots as far as he can to the wall. "Hi!" Axel waves. "You're the boogie man who's been in my closet since I was four?" Sora asks. "Eh….Sure why not" Axel smiles.

"What up my spikey little nimrod who I don't own so the strict weirdo people can't sue me!" DarkV smiles. "You're the boogie man in my closet?" Sora raises an eyebrow. "One: I'm a GIRL. Two: Get a job! Three: The real boogie man took a vacation, he'll be back next month" she explains. "I told him no off time until I can prove to my parents he's real!" Sora growls.

"Let me out!" Demyx yells. "Noooo, you said you'd be the test subject" DarkV smiles. Yep, Demyx is stuck in a huge container. "What's that for?" Sora asks. "We're gonna try to change the weather, so we don't have to go to school" Axel presses some buttons. "Coolies!" Sora walks over.

Weirdly, it starts to snow in the container. "Wait! I wanna live!" Demyx cries. "You're just daydreaming" DarkV laughs. "I need clothes!" Sora yells. "Wear these!" Axel throws some clothes at them. "They're Roxas's" Sora looks at them. "Roxas has clothes" Axel smiles innocently.

-Elsewhere- "These are Sora's clothes!" Roxas yells.

-Back to Sora's place- "That was fast" DarkV looks around. "Heat Mizer heeeeelp! Heat Mizer heeeeelp!" Demyx cries. Out of complete random, the doorbell starts to ring every five seconds. "You gonna answer that?" DarkV asks. "My parents are here, they can answer it" Sora starts to put on Roxas's little dresses. "Ugh, I'm dying" Demyx groans from the container filled with snow. "

"I said you'll live!" Axel hits the container. "If I freeze, you'll have to hand me over to Vexen!" Demyx says persuasively. Automatically, Axel breaks the container and Demyx falls out nearly frozen. "Oh joy" DarkV shakes her hands in sarcasm. The doorbell rings even louder. "GO GET THE DOOR!" DarkV kicks Sora out the door.

So Sora mumbles all the way to the front door. "What do you wan-" but Sora is hit in the face with a box. "Lookie what I got!" Sora giddily comes back into the room. "What?" everybody asks. Sora opens the box only to have his smiley idiotic face change to absolute horror.

"Uniform" his voice echoes. "My ears!" DarkV screams. "Now that's the ultimate evil in the world" Axel shudders. Demyx randomly breaks free of the ice and starts to cry bloody murder. "Well at least we don't have to wear them" Axel shrugs and Demyx stops. But Axel obviously spoke too soon as a two more boxes broke through Sora's window.

"Oh friggin piece of sh-" "Lets move it along people!" DarkV steps in front of Axel.

-At school- "My clothes feel weird" Sora feels the collar on his shirt. "Sucks for you! We don't get uniforms at my school!" DarkV laughs. "Then why are you wearing one?" Tidus asks (That's right people, he's back). "These are coolies" she looks down at her tank top shirt with a blue tie and matching skirt.

"Well mine's bothering me" Sora groans as he looks at his business like shirt with jean pants. "It's cute, I thought of it, get over it!" DarkV pokes at him. "Where's Riku?" Selphie asks. "Iunno, he wasn't at the bus stop this morning" Sora shurgs. "What if Cloud got him, ya?" Wakka asks. "Why's _he_ with us anyway?" Sora turns to DarkV. "Iunno, thought for sure he died"

Suddenly, some stomping and what sounds like a demonic growl echoes down the hall. "What was that?" Sora gets behind Wakka. "I dunno, ya?" Wakka raises an eyebrow. The stomping gets closer and closer until…"There you are!" Sora smiles cheerfully. "WHO'S IDEA WAS THIS!" Riku yells. "Nice outfit" DarkV giggles at his female uniform. "Don't even get started with me!" he points at her. "Are you at least wearing shorts under that thing?" Tidus asks. "Who needs shorts when you can wear pants?" Riku crosses his arms. DarkV raises an eyebrow. "Who wears pants on an island?" And that's when the first bell rung...

-In first period- "Hello everybody" Ansem walks into the room. "Heeeey, you're not Ansem" Sora points. (Remember peeps, I wrote this story before KH2 came out. Nobody knew who the _real_ Ansem was). "That was Xehanort yesterday. I'm the _real_ Ansem" he explains. "Great, even he doesn't shut up about darkness!" Riku bangs his head on the desk.

"Did somebody say darkness?" Xehanort busts in through the back door. "The hell do you want?" DarkV yells. "I'm your student teacher!" he smiles. "No, no, no, no, no, NOOOOOO!" Riku yells. "Today, we'll begin the talk about the heart" Ansem draws a heart on the board. "Maybe this won't be so bad after all, ya?" Wakka shrugs. "And Darkness!" Xehanort shouts. "DAMMIT!" Riku screams.

-Later- "Well that was a load of packed crap for crap" Selphie groans. "Got that right" Tidus walks beside her. "Are my ears bleeding?" Riku looks over to Sora. Sora tilts his head and nods. "Thought so" Riku takes out some tissue and stuffs it into his ears. "At least you survived that period. Cloud said we were gonna have full periods today" DarkV smiles. "Do you even go to this school?" Selphie asks. Everybody stops and looks at DarkV. "Obviously not. I just want to follow my favorite guys" she smiles. "And torture us?" Sora asks. "That too" she nods. "Great" Riku groans. "Would you rather have Kairi?" DarkV growls. "On to lunch!" Riku takes hold of DarkV's and Sora's hands.

-At lunch- "Another poupu burger" Sora looks under the bun. "I got chocobo soup" Selphie hides under the table from the chocobo sitting in a bowl of water. "I got some fruit snacks and punch!" DarkV holds up what she got. "How'd you get those?" Riku asks as he fends off against his lobster and cheese. "Hello? Vending machines over there" she points to the back of the room. Everybody looks back and sweatdrop like the idiots they were. "Can I sit with you guys?" Roxas walks over. "Of course!" DarkV pushes him into a chair between Sora and Riku.

"Heeheheheheheheheheheheeeeeeee" Sora giggles. "Now that's freaky, ya?" Wakka asks. "What is up with you and that "ya?" stuff! That's probably why they put Rai in KH2 so that we didn't have to hear you!" DarkV shouts. "Rai?" Selphie raises an eyebrow. "And you!" DarkV points to her. "There's a reason they put Fuu in KH2 you know. You talk to much!" DarkV finishes. "That is soooo true" Sora thinks back to a year ago.

-Even more later- "Welcome back to art class idiots" Vincent says right up front. "Now that's just mean" Roxas pucks out his lower lip. "He's always like this" Tidus whispers. "Don't think I didn't hear that either" he walks over to the art supplies. "Today we're going to be making wire sculptures" he takes out a loooooooooooooong string of wire. "Wire sculptures?" Sora tilts his head. Everybody looks over to DarkV. "Don't forget to where your goggles!" she slaps some on her face. "Why?" Riku asks.

-Minutes later- "AHHHH! My EYE! My friggin EYE!" Riku screams in pain. "I told you" DarkV shrugs. "This is so frigging hard to bend!" Sora tries to bend his string of wire. "Maybe it's because you're jumping on it" Selphie watches as Sora jumps on his wire. "Ah! Think my hands' bleeding" Roxas shakes his hand. "Come with me" Vincent walks over to Roxas's desk and leads him to the back of the room. "Vincent waaaaaaaait!" DarkV calls. He glares back at her. "You forgot this!" she stands up in her chair and tosses him a shot. He catches it and turns his attention back to Roxas.

"What's he gonna do?" Sora asks, starting to shake all over. DarkV looks back at him, only to realize the whole class is looking at her. "Whaaaaaaaat?" she groans. "You'll see" she shrugs and turns back around to her work. -A few minutes later- Vincent helps Roxas back to his seat and then heads back to the front of the room. "Roxas, ya?" Wakka pokes at the vedy _vedy _**VEDY** pale Roxas. He looks up at him and then bangs his head back down on the desk.

"Oh, creepy" Riku holds a tissue to his barely bleeding eye. "I'm creeped out now" Sora sinks back in his chair. He looks over to Vincent, only ro see him put a capsule full of "red liquid" into his briefcase. "I think I'm gonna-" "Not while I'm still at risk!" Riku puts his hand over Sora's mouth. "Somebody help us!" Tidus screams. "This room is barely sound proof, don't think help'll be arriving anytime soon" Vincent flipped through his magazine. Suddenly, Roxas automatically falls out of his chair and everybody just stares at him. After about 5 minutes, everybody starts to freak out.

Zexion, who just happened to be walking by, looks inside the little window on the door to see some students trying to break the plastic windows, others trying to dig their way out with some spoons, and Vincent talking to Riku, then taking him to the back of the room. "I wish I was in the guy's class. He's letting them do whatever they want" Zexion sighs then walks along.

-In the teachers lounge- "I said stand up straight maggot!" Xigbar yells. "Please, I'm too tired and my arm is splitting from the inside" Xemnas groans. "No! We're going to do this day and night, time after time, until you get it right! Now stand up!" Xigbar commands. Xemnas stands up, mumbling something about him ordering people around since he's the leader. "No lean!" Xigbar points to the wall. Automatically, Xemnas hits the wall and falls to the ground. "Wrong again!" Xigbar yells. "Oh this never gets old" Marluxia snickers.


	15. Strawberry Filling

-twitches- Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix and ReChain of Memories -giggles madly- They better come out in America! If they don't, there's gonna be trouble!

"Ugh, my back!" Sora groans as he carries Roxas's body on his back. "It's called, body lifting! It's almost like weight lifting, but you're carrying a body on your back!" DarkV makes up a weird excuse. "Riiiight, ya" Wakka looks away. "Wakka, why don't you find a nice ditch and lay there until I come and kill you, with my cold, dead-" "There'll be plenty of time for that later" Riku cuts DarkV off. "But I'm booooored!" she throws her arms up.

"Hopefully Axel will have something fun for us to do" Selphie sighs. "Yeah, if he's not obsessed with matches and flammable items" Riku rolls his eyes. "Hey, what did Mr. Valentine do to you back there anyways?" Sora asks. "Gave me an ice pack for my eye" he answers. "Why?" Tidus asks. "He said my darkness was cool and he doesn't like the light" Riku shrugs. "So that's why he took Roxas's-" "We're here!" DarkV stops at the door.

"Hey Axel!" Sora walks in with the rest. "Howdy peeps" he waves from his desk. "What're you looking at?" Riku asks as everybody walks over to his desk. "This clip from KH2" he points to his laptop. "See, in this one, I catch on fire, but in this same clip from a _different_ version," he switches to another clip, "I don't! What's up with that?" he growls.

"I want to explain, but then again, I don't" DarkV shakes her head. "Fine, be that way and take your seats" he points. Everybody takes their seats only to notice they're siting in ashes. "What is all this?" Selphie starts to tremble. "Oh, I got bored reeeeaaaal, fast" Axel gets up from his seat. "What the hell is wrong with you man!" Riku yells. "Absolutely not-What the heck happened to Roxas!" he shoots his attention to the pale body still on Sora's back.

"Well, uh, Mr. Valentine did some things and, here he is" Sora smiles cheeseily. Man, he hasn't done that in a loooong time. "Roxy why!" Axel picks Roxas up and shakes him. "Uh, my head..." Roxas groans. "I know what'll wake him up!" Axel sets him down on his desk. He takes out one of his chakrams and slips it under Roxas's butt.

"Now wait a minute!" Riku shoots up. "I said it'll wake him up, not make him feel better!" Axel points. And so, behold the words that described Axel's chakram catching on fire and burning Roxas's butt once more.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You friggin PYRO!" Roxas turns around and yells in Axel's face. "All better" Axel pushes him off his desk. "Today we're gonna be making...Paopu Cakes!" Axel tosses a cook book on his desk. "Paopu cakes?" Riku raises an eyebrow. "Got it memorized?" Axel asks.

"Is that supposed to be like a pineapple cake or a strawberry cake or something?" Roxas asks. "Absolutely yes. Now go get your coats...I mean aprons" Axel points to the wall with the "aprons-coughcough**coats**hackcough."

"Okay, we don't have enough supplies for every individual because Cloud isn't rich, so partner up before I partner you guys with people you probably hate, you got 10 seconds" Axel waves his hands. Everybody scrambles for the person they want to be with, but partners probably weren't the best idea. Wakka and Selphie were fighting over Tidus, Riku and Sora were tug-a-waring over Roxas, and some kid was paired was with a guy who was really rude.

"Rude's just here to observe people, he's not a partner, he's a Turk" Axel points his chakram at the kid who chose him. Sora eventually wins the fight with Roxas because Riku gave up. "You wanna be my partner?" Riku asks DarkV. "Hmmm...Nah! I gotta get back to writing my fanfics" DarkV gets up from her chair. "But aren't you typing it right now!" Riku starts to raise his voice. "Uhh..." she shrugs. "How're you here if you're supposed to be writing the-" "Don't break the the fourth wall" she cuts him off. "See **Yaaa!" **she waves as she leaves.

"Ouch, looks like you don't have a partner" Axel walks over to Riku. "No..." Riku starts to pout. "Well, no friggin worries, you can be with..." -looks over to Selphie and Tidus- "Too lovey stupid" -looks over to Wakka and some kid- "Weird enough" -looks over to Roxas and Sora playing bones, papercut, gash- "Roxas and Sora!" he points over to their table. "Coulda done better" Riku sighs.

So they start their projects. "It says one cup of milk, we got that right?" Roxas asks. "Right here" Riku sets the cup and carton on the table. "Riku always has milk with him. It keeps his hair bleached" Sora points to Riku, only to see him glaring back at him. "Don't eat me!" Sora covers his head. "Focus, peeps" Roxas sweatdrops. "Do we have the paopus?" Riku asks. "You know what we should do with them after this-" "Shove it" Riku says as Sora sets the paopus on the table. "That sounds like it would hurt" Sora twitches.

Riku starts mixing the usual cake ingredients while Roxas reads out the directions and Sora cuts the paopus. "Ouch!" Sora shakes his hand. "You cut yourself again?" Roxas asks, clearly not surprised. "It's not my fault knives are sharp!" Sora groans. "You're the reason knives are sharp" Riku mumbles. "Gosh!" Sora cuts himself again. "You know people are gonna think you're emo right?" Riku asks.

"Well, how does it look so far?" Roxas sets down the book after a few minutes. "How _are_ we doing? Axel's gonna grade this you know" Riku walks over with two cake pans. "Yay, you got the cake pans!" Sora cheers. "The only clean and best ones" Riku looks back at the rest of the class who are glaring and snickering at him. He sets one of the pans down and slaps his butt at them. Sucks for them!

"Oooh mygosh" Roxas sighs. "What?" Riku asks. "Oooh, maybe I shoulda cleaned up" Sora winces. The three of them look into the mixture of batter, paopus, and "red swirls" "Sora what the heck!" Riku yells. "I didn't think I bled that much! I thought I'd be okay, they were only small cuts!" Sora holds his hands up defensively, only to show several huge deep cuts across his palms.

"We're doomed! We might aswell slit our throats right now" Roxas sinks his head into his hands. "We could start over" Sora guesses. "There aren't anymore paopus left" Riku rubs his temples. "We might aswell turn into vampires too" Roxas sighs. "Could give this to Mr. Valentine" Sora guesses again. "Then there's a a chance he'd go after you at night" Roxas points. Sora shudders.

"Lets just finish it! It's not like we have to eat it when we're done. Plus, Axel will only be grading the outside" Riku sits down. "Hope this doesn't go on my permanent record. Roxas: Nobody, last name: Unkown, but probably Strife. Once made a paopu cake with "red swirls" in it thought to be strawberry filling, but was the "other type of strawberry filling" Look out for Roxas" he groans. "You should soooo join the Daily Destiny press" Riku chuckles.

"Done yet?" Sora asks. "Almost" Riku cakes on the light blue icing. "How bout now?" Sora asks again. "I **said** _almost_" Riku glances over to him. "Now?" "No" "What about now?" "No" "Now?" Riku glances over to Sora who's waiting anxiously at Riku's side. "I'm gonna say this one more time before I got midevil on your as-" "Done!" Roxas cuts Riku off.

Roxas smiles at the paopu he set on top. "Finally!" Sora bangs his head on the desk. "And just in time" Riku notices Axel hitting a timer on his desk that just happens to be shaped like one of his chakrams. "Clean up, sit up, and shut up!" Axel gets up from behind his desk. Everybody sets there cakes forward and sit up nervously. 'Please get an A! Please get an A!' 'WE worked hard, so _I_ should get the credit!' 'I swear it's bacon!' 'No tasting! No tasting!'

Axel walks from his desk and over to Tidus and Selphie's table. "You guys get an A" -they smile at each other- "For Abomination!" he walks away. "WHAT?" Selphie yells and starts to climb over the table, but Tidus holds her down. At Wakka and BillyBob SueEllen's table "You guys get a C" -they high five each other- "For Coulda made this Crap better!" Axel laughs as he walks to the next table. "You two get a..." he stops and thinks. "What's lower than an F?" Axel thinks. "Z!" he yells.

"NOoOoO! Sir, you can't do this! I gotta get an A in every class to get into college!" one of the kids named Driew grabbed onto Axel's coat (Read the name backward). "Sucks for you huh?" Axel aims his hand at the kid's face. And he automatically bursts into flames. "Anger management?" Riku mumbles to Roxas. "Try insanity management" Roxas answers.

Axel walks over and inspects their cake from every angle he can. "You guys really put some blood in this cake" Axel crosses his arms. "OH MY GOSH HE FOUND OUT RIKU!" Sora yells. Roxas and Riku instantly cover Sora's mouth. "I'll pretend I didn't hear that" Axel smiles. "So what do we get?" Roxas asks. "An A" "For Asswipes?" Riku asks. "Nooo, A for Axel likes" Axel raises an eyebrow. "Yay!" the three high five each other.

"Now here's the deal with eating; no sharing cakes with other students or teachers, no getting rid of them away even outside of my classroom, and if you're in a hurry, chug it!" Axel smiles as he goes back to his desk. "Ooooh" Roxas slowly looks at the cake. "Awkward..." Riku stares at it. "So...Who's hungry?" Sora asks nervously. "Someone kill me now" Riku groans. "Attention students, I have an important announcement..." Cloud starts on the intercom. "Dun dun DUN!" "Stop it, Sora" Riku glances at him.


End file.
